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In many countries Women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring. To what extent do you agree ?

In this modern era, females are stepping out of the four walls and showcase their talent in every field. Some individuals believe that they are self-dependent and able to take care of their own needs. As a result, they do not demand any financial support which marriage provides. In my opinion, I completely disagree with the statement that females get married for financial security. To begin with, education is one of the foremost reasons that females are deciding to stay single at the present time. Once upon a time, women were used to staying at home. They were forbidden to take education due to conservative culture and confined to take care of the house. However, in contemporary society, they have become financially self-sufficient and gradually manufactured their careers on their own. For instance, in Uzbekistan, women now have certain respect. This country also has one of the highest literacy rates among women in the world and their capability of proficient at speaking over two languages is also remarkable as well. Moreover, the other justification is that women prefer to stay single or postpone their matrimonies due to their optimism in the careers' approach. A long time ago, women relied on custodian income as they were not allowed to pursue their career goals. Nevertheless, females are getting more satisfactory employment opportunities as compared to men. A case in point that can be given is that highly career enthusiastic women are single. They prefer to build their own business and establish accomplishments in their respective field rather than getting married To sum up, I believe that XXI century ladies are gifted to handle their own needs as the opportunities are massive. Therefore, they would devote their concentration mostly to reap successes in their career, and they only get married when feeling comfortable and confident in their job and personal life.
In this modern era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
are stepping out of the four walls and showcase their talent in every field.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals believe that they are self-dependent and able to take care of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
needs.
As a result
, they do not demand any financial support which marriage provides. In my opinion, I completely disagree with the statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married for financial security.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, education is one of the foremost reasons that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
are deciding to stay single at the present time. Once upon a time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to staying at home. They
were forbidden
to take education due to conservative culture and confined to take care of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
However
, in contemporary society, they have become
financially
self-sufficient and
gradually
manufactured their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
For instance
, in Uzbekistan,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have certain respect. This country
also
has one of the highest literacy rates among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in the world and their capability of proficient at speaking over two languages is
also
remarkable
as well
.

Moreover
, the other justification is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
prefer to stay single or postpone their
Possible spelling mistake found.
matrimonies
due to their optimism in the careers' approach. A long time ago,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
relied on custodian income as they were not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to pursue their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
goals.
Nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
are getting more satisfactory employment opportunities as compared to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
. A case in point that can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
is that
highly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
enthusiastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are single. They prefer to build their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business and establish accomplishments in their respective field
rather
than getting married

To sum up, I believe that XXI century ladies
are gifted
to handle their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
needs as the opportunities are massive.
Therefore
, they would devote their concentration
mostly
to reap successes in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
, and they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married when feeling comfortable and confident in their job and personal life.
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IELTS essay In many countries Women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
308 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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