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Music is therapy which calm and relax our mind, rhythm must be sweet and increase the concentration power.

Music is therapy which calm and relax our mind, rhythm must be sweet and increase the concentration power. It has been never ending debate where Many people believe that today’s music is just a noise which either create noise pollution or pop up some health issue regarding ears but younger one’s contrast with this point of view because they may feel that rock music provide the positive energy in their attitude. Those people who believe that modern music brings the negative affect in the mindset of young once’s may believe so, as music has been played at high volume which create chaos and increase the ear aid. Few news are been evident that 65 percent of youth deal with ear issue due to exceed the limit of noise while listening the music through headset, after the warning given by electronic device. Another reason that shows bad impact on youth may relates to words of Rap and hip-hop which support violence and trigger the youth to support crime. Such as, many new-comer singers start their carrier with music that is easily catch by youth, it includes bully people, praise criminal, fight sequence and many more. As teenager are attract toward this music which leads to path where they copy and execute the song’s word. On the other hand, every people have different taste of music and it changes dramatically by the period, but, while listening to music, at all the relevant age, they feel satisfaction and happiness. Every child is under the pressure of education and other activities which exhaust them completely, enjoying with their favourite songs, give rewards to brain and recharge them to do other things. Secondly, there are many motivational songs, in the form high beat, which enhance their confidence and provide the self motivation. One survey shows, most people listen to beat music during their exercise and increase the limit of the exercise and make them fit.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is therapy which calm and relax our mind, rhythm
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be sweet and increase the concentration power. It has been never ending debate where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a noise which either create noise pollution or pop up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
health issue regarding ears
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
younger one’s contrast with this point of view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they may feel that rock
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
provide the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
energy in their attitude.

Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who believe that modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
brings the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
affect in the mindset of young once’s may believe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has
been played
at high volume which create chaos and increase the ear aid.
Possible agreement error. The noun news seems to be uncountable; consider using: “little news”.
Few news
are been
evident that 65 percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
deal with ear issue due to exceed the limit of noise while listening the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
through headset, after the warning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by electronic device. Another reason that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
may
The modal verb ‘may’ requires the verb’s base form.
relates
to words of Rap and hip-hop which support violence and trigger the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
to support crime. Such as,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new-comer singers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their carrier with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
that is
easily
catch by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
, it includes bully
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, praise criminal, fight sequence and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more. As
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
are
Consider using either the past participle “attracted” or the present participle “attracting” here.
attract
toward this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
which leads to path where they copy and execute the song’s word.

On the other hand
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
taste of
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
music and
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
dramatically
by the period,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, while listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, at all the relevant age, they feel satisfaction and happiness. Every child is under the pressure of education and other activities which exhaust them completely, enjoying with their
Possible spelling mistake. ‘favourite’ is British English.
favourite
songs, give rewards to brain and recharge them to do other things.
Secondly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
motivational songs, in the form high beat, which enhance their confidence and provide the self motivation. One survey
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
listen to beat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
during their exercise and increase the limit of the exercise and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them fit.
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IELTS essay Music is therapy which calm and relax our mind, rhythm must be sweet and increase the concentration power.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
320 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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