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Many people believe that modern music can have a negative impact on the young. Others believe the effect of modern music is positive. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Music is a therapy which help us to relax our mind. Many people, especially the older generation think that modern music such as rap and hip-hop, just a noise and negatively affect on young ones. While, other opine that it brings the positivity in new generation. This write up shell shed light on both views in upcoming paragraphs. Those who says that modern music brings the negativity may believe so, the modern music like hip-hop, rap is just noise. The younger ones can be seen in parties or get together in loud environment which negatively impact not only on ears but also on their metal health. For instance, according to past survey of India times around 40% youngsters are facing hearing impairment due to loud music and noise. Moreover, most of the modern lyricist talk about illegal weapons, violence and anti-social things in their songs which may also count as negative point. Apart from this, majority of new songs represent the western culture rather than traditions. Therefore, teenagers get easily influenced and may detach from our roots. On contrary, it is important that people are able to listen the music which they prefer. They should have freedom to listen the music they like, no-one can control their choice and taste. On the same page, music helps the people to stay calm when they are under pressure and depression. When a person listens to music, he or she can focus on himself and the work he is doing, which means music helps to increase concentration, confidence and decrease nervousness. For instance, collage or school students face depression or anxiety due to homework or exam. The best relaxation therapy for them is music. Last but not the least, through the music artist present the reality of society. So, young ones get to know about the current situation of society and it also increase their maturity level. In conclude, music brings positivity in every-way, but it is our own thinking, how we take it. Optimistic thinking regarding music brings positivity while pessimistic thinking may ruin our life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is a therapy which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to relax our mind.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
especially
the older generation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
such as rap and hip-hop,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a noise and
negatively
Did you mean “effect” (consequence, outcome, result)?
affect
on young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, other opine that it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
the positivity in new generation. This
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
write up
shell shed light on both views in upcoming paragraphs.

Those who says that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
the negativity may believe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
like hip-hop, rap is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
noise. The younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in parties or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
together in loud environment which
negatively
impact not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on ears
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
on their metal health.
For instance
, according to past survey of India times around 40% youngsters are facing hearing impairment due to loud
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and noise.
Moreover
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
lyricist talk about illegal weapons, violence and anti-social things in their songs which may
also
count as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
point. Apart from this, majority of new songs represent the western culture
rather
than traditions.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
easily
influenced and may detach from our roots.

On contrary, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are able to listen the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
which they prefer. They should have freedom to listen the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
they like, no-one can control their choice and taste. On the same page,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to stay calm when they are under pressure and depression. When a person listens to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, he or she can focus on himself and the work he is doing, which means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to increase concentration, confidence and decrease nervousness.
For instance
, collage or school students face depression or anxiety due to homework or exam. The best relaxation therapy for them is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least, through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
artist present the reality of society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situation of
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
society and
it
also
After ‘it’, use the third-person verb form “increases”.
increase
their maturity level.

In conclude,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
positivity in every-way,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
thinking, how we take it. Optimistic thinking regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
positivity while pessimistic thinking may ruin our life.
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IELTS essay Many people believe that modern music can have a negative impact on the young. Others believe the effect of modern music is positive.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
344 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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