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Extreme sports such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Extreme sports such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned BbLX
It is common belief that exhilarating sports such as sky diving and skiing put people under a high-risk of getting serious injuiries; then some people argue that sports, requiring high level of physical exertion should be prohibited by authorities. I totally disagree with the idea that these sports are too hazardous, and I therefore maintain notion that they should not be banned. Undoubtedly, we should acknowledge all sports involve some element of risk, and as a result, there should always be strict regulations and safety procedures to reduce the possibilities of tragical accidents. People who take part in extreme sports are generally required to undergo mandatory training so that dangers are minimised. For example, everyone who wants to participate in sky-diving has to sign up for instructional lessons with professionals on this field; hence they will be under the supervision of experts in case something goes wrong. Furthermore, the protective equipment and technology used in sports have changed a lot in the past few years. It has become much more accessible to prevent or even forecast risk in adventurous sport. One convincing argument in favor of sky diving is that invention of wind speed machine, which can display whether the wind conditions are suitable for participants. In addition, material of protective suits for extreme sports has become more qualitative in terms of safety so that it leads to minimum injuiries. In conclusion, people should be free to enjoy extreme sports as long as they completely understand the risks and take the appropriate precautions.
It is common belief that exhilarating
sports
such as
sky diving
and skiing put
people
under a high-
risk
of getting serious
injuiries
; then
some
people
argue that
sports
, requiring high level of physical exertion should
be prohibited
by authorities. I
totally
disagree with the
idea
that these
sports
are too hazardous, and I
therefore
maintain notion that they should not
be banned
.

Undoubtedly
, we should acknowledge all
sports
involve
some
element of
risk
, and
as a result
, there should always be strict regulations and safety procedures to
reduce
the possibilities of
tragical
accidents.
People
who
take part
in extreme
sports
are
generally
required to undergo mandatory training
so
that
dangers
are
minimised
.
For example
, everyone who wants to participate in sky-diving
has to
sign
up for instructional lessons with professionals on this field;
hence
they will be under the supervision of experts in case something goes
wrong
.

Furthermore
, the protective equipment and technology
used
in
sports
have
changed
a lot in the past few years. It has become much more accessible to
prevent
or even forecast
risk
in adventurous
sport
. One convincing argument in favor of
sky diving
is that invention of wind speed machine, which can display whether the wind conditions are suitable for participants.
In addition
, material of protective suits for extreme
sports
has become more qualitative in terms of safety
so
that it leads to minimum
injuiries
.

In conclusion
,
people
should be free to enjoy extreme
sports
as long as they completely understand the
risks
and take the appropriate precautions.
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IELTS essay Extreme sports such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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