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Extreme sports such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view? v.17

Extreme sports such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. with this view? v. 17
In recent years, extreme sports have become an increasingly popular activity, and some people believe that these sports are too dangerous and governments should prohibit them. I completely disagree with the idea that these sports should be banned. To begin with, so-called extreme sports are not as dangerous as many people think. This is because almost all sports involve some element of risk, and there should always be clear regulations and safety procedures to reduce the possibility of accidents. Further, people who take part in these risky sports are usually required to undergo various appropriate trainings to minimize the danger associated with them. For instance, anyone who wants to try sky diving needs to sign lessons with a registered club, and the one who tries solo dive, tends to be accompanied by an experienced professional. Also, the protective equipment and technology used these days from base jumping into water surfing is constantly improving safety. Furthermore, I think it is almost impossible and wrong to ban such games. The reason for this is that people have a right to spend their leisure time on their way, as long as they understand the risks. Indeed, politicians cannot stop us from enjoying ourselves. Moreover, it seems impossible to make a law for banning these sports, and enforce people to adhere it. As many of these sports are being practiced far away from the reach of authorities. Even I cannot imagine that police being called to stop people from parachuting off mountain face or surfing on an isolated beach. In conclusion, I would argue that people should be free to enjoy these extreme sports as long as they can understand the risk involved in them, and take the appropriate precautions.
In recent years, extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
have become an
increasingly
popular activity, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should prohibit them. I completely disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
should
be banned
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
-called extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are not as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
almost all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
involve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
element of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
, and there should always be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
regulations and safety procedures to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the possibility of accidents.
Further
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in these risky
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are
usually
required to undergo various appropriate trainings to minimize the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
associated with them.
For instance
, anyone who wants to try
Did you mean "skydiving"?
sky diving
needs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
lessons with a registered club, and the one who tries solo dive, tends to
be accompanied
by an experienced professional.
Also
, the protective equipment and technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
these days from base jumping into water surfing is
constantly
improving safety.

Furthermore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is almost impossible and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
to ban such games.
The reason for this is
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a right to spend their leisure time on their way, as long as they understand the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
.
Indeed
, politicians cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
us from enjoying ourselves.
Moreover
, it seems impossible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a law for banning these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, and enforce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to adhere it.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are
being practiced
far away from the reach of authorities. Even I cannot imagine that police
being called
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from parachuting off mountain face or surfing on an isolated beach.

In conclusion
, I would argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be free to enjoy these extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
as long as they can understand the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
involved in them, and take the appropriate precautions.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay Extreme sports such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. with this view? v. 17

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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