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Education is one of the most fundamental part in a person’s life

Education is one of the most fundamental part in a person’s life x0gL9
Education is one of the most fundamental part in a person’s life. However, the methods to teach students nowadays are not suitable. Many pupils say that lessons they learn at school are quite hard and impossible to concentrate. This essay will explain some causes and give some approaches to solve this problem. There are some reason for this matter. Firstly, lessons which students learn at school are not interesting. It’s because teachers are not active and amenity in their lecture, which will cause the same affect to their student. Secondly, with the growth of technology, this is the main reason for the problem mentioned above. As each student owns a electrical device such as smart phone or tablet, they will spend hours to playing games or chatting with others, even in classroom. This will cause lack of knowledge and distract from lessons. To deal with this problem, both parents and teachers must change their attitude toward their children. First of all, teachers must create a fascinating atmosphere in their lessons. To do this, teachers should get to know their students. After that, they can choose different methods of teaching which students like. At a result, students will automatically attention to the lecture and improve their knowledge. Secondly, parents should educate their children that smartphones are not allow in classroom and limit the time they use it. School should cooperate with parents to improve the success of this approach. To sum up, distraction and lack of concentration is not coincidence. Students must self conscious as well as teachers must understand their pupils more to improve classroom’s effectiveness.
Education is one of the most fundamental
Please check whether a plural form of 'part' should be used.
part
in a person’s life.
However
, the methods to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
nowadays are not suitable.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
pupils say that lessons they learn at school are quite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and impossible to concentrate. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
causes and give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
approaches to solve this problem.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reason for this matter.
Firstly
, lessons which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
learn at school are not interesting. It’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are not active and amenity in their lecture, which will cause the same
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
.
Secondly
, with the growth of technology, this is the main reason for the problem mentioned above. As each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owns
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
electrical device such as smart phone or tablet, they will spend hours to playing games or chatting with others, even in classroom. This will cause lack of knowledge and distract from lessons.

To deal with this problem, both parents and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their attitude toward their children.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
create a fascinating atmosphere in their lessons. To do this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. After that, they can choose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
methods of teaching which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
like. At a result,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will
automatically
attention to the lecture and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their knowledge.
Secondly
, parents should educate their children that smartphones are not
Consider using a past participle here: "allowed".
allow
in classroom and limit the time they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it. School should cooperate with parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the success of this approach.

To sum up, distraction and lack of concentration is not coincidence.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self conscious
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
understand their pupils more to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
classroom’s effectiveness.

IELTS essay Education is one of the most fundamental part in a person’s life

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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