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explain an exhilarating experiences

explain an exhilarating experiences GJ2Rj
I'm going to talk about one of my exhilarating experiences which was camping in the Kara forest. If I'm not mistaken, it goes back to 5 years ago. I was a member of a mountaineering group, all of whom were friendly and had a positive outlook on life. we were all packed to leave for the camp located in the mountains north of Tehran. we were supposed to walk from the Darake to the Kara forest in the early morning and stay there for a night. In our path, we faced lots of obstacles however the most challenging was crossing a river that was both deep and fast and unfortunately I slipped there and got soaking wet. Although it was a dangerousn long journey, there were many things which I found quite intriguing such as Seeing different animals and birds. regardless of this what stroke me most was panoramic landscapes which were mesmerizing. Night was falling by the time we arrived at the right place for camping. After lighting fire and cooking dinner, we spent some time playing, singing and relaxing. that night, I could not take my eyes off the beauties of the starry sky until morning which was an enthralling experience. since never had I stayed in wild nature this activity was far more captivating to me compared to other activities.
I'm going to talk about one of my exhilarating experiences which was camping in the Kara forest. If I'm not mistaken, it goes back to 5 years ago. I was a member of a mountaineering group, all of whom were friendly and had a
positive
outlook on life.
we
were all packed to
leave
for the camp located in the mountains north of Tehran.
we
were supposed
to walk from the
Darake
to the Kara forest in the early morning and stay there for a night. In our path, we faced lots of obstacles
however
the most challenging was crossing a river that was both deep and
fast
and unfortunately I slipped there and
got
soaking wet. Although it was a
dangerousn
long journey, there were
many
things which I found quite intriguing such as Seeing
different
animals and birds.
regardless
of this what stroke me most was panoramic landscapes which were mesmerizing. Night was falling by the time we arrived at the right place for camping. After lighting fire and cooking dinner, we spent
some
time playing, singing and relaxing.
that
night, I could not take my eyes off the beauties of the starry sky until morning which was an enthralling experience.
since
never had I stayed in wild nature this activity was far more captivating to me compared to other activities.
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IELTS essay explain an exhilarating experiences

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
223 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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