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As a result of deforestation and illegal hunting, many animal species are becoming endangered and some are even facing extinction. Do you think it is important to protect animals? What can be done to deal with this problem? v.4

As a result of deforestation and illegal hunting, many animal species are becoming endangered and some are even facing extinction. Do you think it is important to protect animals? What can be done to deal with this problem? v. 4
When the dinosaurs and woolly mammoths went extinct, it was considered to be a natural process or perhaps the result of a natural disaster. These days, however, many species are on the brink of extinction as a direct result of human activities including logging and poaching. This essay will discuss why I feel that it is important to protect animals and suggest two ways to do so. Animal conservation needs to be a global priority. This is because the loss of one breed can have catastrophic knock-on effects for others and even for entire ecosystems. Take wolves as an example. Although it may seem counterintuitive, the presence of this apex predator in the wilderness helps to maintain balance. They prey on sick or weak deer, which helps to keep that population healthy overall, and this predation also controls the number of grazing animals; when they are too abundant, soils can become degraded and other species will suffer. In other words, preserving one category keeps the entire ecosystem balanced. When it comes to the prevention of extinction, two strategies can be implemented. The first is to preserve habitat, which is crucial when it comes to ensuring a species’ long-term viability. To do this, urban sprawl and development in general must be curbed to reduce deforestation, which is a major cause of species loss. Another measure involves getting tougher on illegal hunters. If more surveillance was available in problem areas such as Nepal where tigers are hunted for their organs and bones, than more hunters could be apprehended. Harsher penalties such as imprisonment could then serve as a warning to other poachers. In conclusion, animal extinction can have serious ramifications for the environment. To prevent it, governments need to both preserve habitat and punish offenders effectively.
When the dinosaurs and
woolly
mammoths went extinct, it
was considered
to be a natural process or perhaps the result of a natural disaster. These days,
however
,
many
species are on the brink of extinction as a direct result of human activities including logging and poaching. This essay will discuss why I feel that it is
important
to protect animals and suggest two ways to do
so
.

Animal conservation needs to be a global priority. This is
because
the loss of one breed can have catastrophic knock-on effects for others and even for entire ecosystems. Take wolves as an example. Although it may seem counterintuitive, the presence of this apex predator in the wilderness
helps
to maintain balance. They prey on sick or weak deer, which
helps
to
keep
that population healthy
overall
, and this predation
also
controls the number of grazing animals; when they are too abundant, soils can become degraded and
other
species will suffer. In
other
words, preserving one category
keeps
the entire ecosystem balanced.

When it
comes
to the prevention of extinction, two strategies can
be implemented
. The
first
is to preserve habitat, which is crucial when it
comes
to ensuring a species’ long-term viability. To do this, urban sprawl and development
in general
must
be curbed
to
reduce
deforestation, which is a major cause of species loss. Another measure involves getting tougher on illegal hunters. If more surveillance was available in problem areas such as Nepal where tigers
are hunted
for their organs and bones, than more hunters could
be apprehended
. Harsher penalties such as imprisonment could then serve as a warning to
other
poachers.

In conclusion
, animal extinction can have serious ramifications for the environment. To
prevent
it,
governments
need to both preserve habitat and punish offenders
effectively
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay As a result of deforestation and illegal hunting, many animal species are becoming endangered and some are even facing extinction. Do you think it is important to protect animals? What can be done to deal with this problem? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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