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Ex 18: Space travel has been possible for some time and some people believe that space tourism could be developed in the future. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Ex 18: Space travel has been possible for some time and some people believe that space tourism could be developed in the future. Do you think it is a positive or negative development? r867p
Animal rights activists often try to ‘proselytize’ people based on anthropomorphic ideas claiming that it is unethical to subject animals to pain and suffering in the name of ‘good’ for humankind. However, I agree with those who say that it is a necessary evil. On the one hand, animal rights advocates justifiably posit animals’ capability to feel pain as their core argument. Many animals have sophisticated and developed brain, which allows them to experience pain to the degree that is similar to humans’. This can be seen in the case of primates or dogs - whose screams and howls are hauntingly deafening - when being subjected to pain in scientific experiments. It is indisputably wrong to force a human being to undergo such pain, so people’s concern for the animals used in those research is readily understandable. However, completely prohibiting the use of animals in scientific research would be unwise. Regardless of how advanced medical technologies are, they cannot reconstruct or replicate animal cells to cater for certain research. Thus, to develop new medicines and treatments, animal experimentation is only unavoidable in those cases. Furthermore, people who lobby against the use of animals would probably feel differently if they themselves or their family members were cured by a medicine developed by using animals. For example, diabetes sufferers cannot live healthily without Insulin, which was developed by experimenting on dogs. In conclusion, most animals can indeed feel pain to a certain degree, so causing them to experience unnecessary suffering is unacceptable. However, I believe that the development of important medicines sanctifies the suffering caused for animals. There are still several important caveats: unnecessary experiments using animals must not be carried out if they have been done before or do not facilitate medical advancement; and scientists have to try to find ways to minimize the amount of pain animals have to go through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Animal
rights activists
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
try to ‘proselytize’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
based on anthropomorphic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
claiming that it is unethical to subject
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pain
and suffering in the name of ‘
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
’ for humankind.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those who say that it is a necessary evil.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
rights advocates
justifiably
posit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals’
capability to feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pain
as their core argument.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
have sophisticated and developed brain, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to experience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pain
to the degree
that is
similar to humans’. This can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the case of primates or dogs
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
whose screams and howls are
hauntingly
deafening
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
when
being subjected
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pain
in scientific experiments. It is
indisputably
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
to force a human being to undergo such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pain
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s concern for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in those research is
readily
understandable.

However
, completely prohibiting the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in scientific research would be unwise. Regardless of how advanced medical technologies are, they cannot reconstruct or replicate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
cells to cater for certain research.
Thus
, to develop new medicines and treatments,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
experimentation is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
unavoidable in those cases.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who lobby against the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
would
probably
feel
differently
if they themselves or their family members
were cured
by a medicine developed by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
For example
, diabetes sufferers cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
healthily
without Insulin, which
was developed
by experimenting on dogs.

In conclusion
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
can
indeed
feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pain
to a certain degree,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
causing them to experience unnecessary suffering is unacceptable.
However
, I believe that the development of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
medicines sanctifies the suffering caused for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. There are
still
several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
caveats: unnecessary experiments using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not
be carried
out if they have
been done
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
or do not facilitate medical advancement; and scientists
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
try to find ways to minimize the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
through
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IELTS essay Ex 18: Space travel has been possible for some time and some people believe that space tourism could be developed in the future. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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