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In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them ?

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them? 56LMV
Health is a state of physical, mental, and social well-being. Fitness is a sort of activity to improve overall health. Health and fitness is important to avoid health problems such as heart attack, depression. The main reason why people are overweight nowadays is their dependency on fast foods. People are going to McDonald, KFC and eat junk food like pizza, burger. People are busy in their lives with their respective jobs and have less time to do physical exercise and to cook homemade foods.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
is a state of physical, mental, and social well-being. Fitness is a sort of activity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
and fitness is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems such as heart attack, depression.

The main reason why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are overweight nowadays is their dependency on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
foods.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are going to McDonald, KFC and eat junk food like pizza, burger.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are busy in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
with their respective jobs and have less time to do physical exercise and to cook homemade foods.

IELTS essay In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
84 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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