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Everyone should stay a school until 18.To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Everyone should stay a school until 18. BOPa
It is said that education is gateway to live a successful life. There is always an ongoing debate between people that pupils ought to study in schools until the age of eighteen years. From my perspective I disagree with this, we will disuses more in forth coming paragraph. On the one hand, there are plethora of reasons why students should complete their education until they turn eighteen and there are many benefits. First and foremost freshmen are career opportunities based on their preferences. As many school going students are not bound to real life experience education, Hence Students are always in dilemma regarding opting their career education plays an vital role and can help them in overcoming this problem. Futhermore, pressurizing students to stay In school will not only reduce unemployment rate of the country but always it will instill more job opportunities in future. For instance many western and European countries provide free education until students turn eighteen. However, on the other hand, there are some drawbacks that come bring with it. Firstly there are legions of students interrupts other kids. There are many kids who does not fits-in with current education system but are forced to study this often cause many problems. For instance. Thesekinds of studenst are usually very disruptive in a classroom and affects other students who are learning. In Addition, Many children choose to follow their career that does not require them to consume education in school past 16 For instance, For those who wish to pursue career which require more practical based learning, Such as builder, Technician or machine operators. It is quite unnecessary to remain in school until the age of eighteen. To recapitulate, although there would be number of positive effects of students remaining in school until they turn 18, I personally feel that the drawback ought weighs benefits.
It
is said
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is gateway to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a successful life. There is always an ongoing debate between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that pupils ought to study in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
until the age of eighteen years. From my perspective I disagree with this, we will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "disuse"
disuses
more in forth coming paragraph.

On the one hand, there are plethora of reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should complete their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
until they turn eighteen and there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits.
First
and foremost freshmen are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
opportunities based on their preferences. As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are not bound to real life experience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
Hence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
are always in dilemma regarding opting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
plays
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
vital role and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in overcoming this problem.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Futhermore
, pressurizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to stay In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
unemployment rate of the country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
always it will instill more job opportunities
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.
For instance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
western and European countries provide free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
until
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
turn eighteen.

However
,
on the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
bring with it.
Firstly
there are legions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
interrupts other kids. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
kids who
Did you mean "do"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'kids' should be used.
does
not fits-in with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
are forced
to study this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems.
For instance
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Thesekinds
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
studenst
are
usually
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
disruptive in a classroom and affects other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who are learning.

In Addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
children choose to follow their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
that does not require them to consume
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
past 16
For instance
, For those who wish to pursue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
which require more practical based learning, Such as builder, Technician or machine operators. It is quite unnecessary to remain in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
until the age of eighteen.

To recapitulate, although there would be number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
remaining in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
until they turn 18, I
personally
feel that the drawback ought weighs benefits.
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IELTS essay Everyone should stay a school until 18.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
307 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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