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Everyone should learn to play a musical instrument.’ Do you agree or disagree?

Everyone should learn to play a musical instrument. ’ kb1Wn
Music has been accompanying mankind since ancient times, and the question of whether everyone should learn to play a musical instrument is one of the important issues of the time. While some people think that everyone should have a good understanding of music and know how to play some musical instrument, some believe that not everyone should be involved in music and this should be done by masters of their profession. This essay compares both views and first discusses the necessary and useful aspects of music for human life in the first paragraph and then in the second paragraph discusses the importance of the type of music for everyone but the choice of profession according to their abilities. Music is a spiritual food for a person, it improves his worldview, feelings and culture. Everyone likes music, when a person listens to music, he forgets about fatigue, mood swings and worries. Some people listen to music and do something, their enthusiasm and energy increase and productivity increases. In society, musicians differ from others by their culture, speech and behavior. In addition, people who are involved in music are always busy, there is no evil coming out of them, or crime is very rare. Listening to music is a wonderful and enjoyable activity. The positive aspects of music must be acknowledged, but not everyone has the ability and talent in music, moreover, this profession requires patience, and a lot of hard work, so both the creation of music and playing a musical instrument can be trusted by professionals themselves. To sum up, I think those who like to play a musical instrument can learn to play some kind of instrument for a hobby, but creating and playing music should be left to people who know their profession well. Listening to and enjoying music is a very good exercise, music makes everyone perfect. When a person listens to music, only good thoughts awaken in his mind, and his mood rises and he becomes good and friendly with others. This leads to the formation of a sense of friendship, respect, attention, love between people.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
has been accompanying mankind since ancient times, and
Wordiness: Consider shortening this phrase.
the question of whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everyone
should learn to
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play
a
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musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
instrument
is one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issues of the time. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
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everyone
should have a
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good
understanding of
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music
and know how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
instrument
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everyone
should
be involved
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and this should
be done
by masters of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profession
. This essay compares both views and
first
discusses the necessary and useful aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
for human life in the
first
paragraph and then in the second paragraph discusses the importance of the type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everyone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the choice of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profession
according to their abilities.

Music is a spiritual food for a person, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
his worldview, feelings and culture.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Everyone
likes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, when a person listens to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, he forgets about fatigue, mood swings and worries.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
listen to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and do something, their enthusiasm and energy increase and productivity increases. In society, musicians differ from others by their culture, speech and behavior.
In addition
,
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people
who
are involved
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
are always busy, there is no evil coming out of them, or crime is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
rare.

Listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is a wonderful and enjoyable activity. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be acknowledged
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everyone
has the ability and talent in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
,
moreover
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profession
requires patience, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
both the creation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and playing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
instrument
can
be trusted
by professionals themselves.

To sum up, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
those who like to
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play
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
instrument
can learn to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
instrument
for a hobby,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
creating and playing
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music
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who know their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profession
well. Listening to and enjoying
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music
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
exercise,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everyone
perfect. When a person listens to
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music
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
thoughts awaken in his mind, and his mood
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
rises and
he becomes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
and friendly with others. This leads to the formation of a sense of friendship, respect, attention,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay Everyone should learn to play a musical instrument. ’

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
350 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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