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Everyone need to study until the age of 18? Discuss and give your opinion? v.2

Everyone need to study until the age of 18? Discuss and give your opinion? v. 2
Education is essential in everyone’s life nowadays. So, people required to educate themselves at least up to the age of 18. In my opinion, they can gain basic knowledge and develops their mental ability. To commence with, if masses study until the age of 18, they can get primary schooling. This could not only help them in their day-to-day life, but also act as a base to study higher education. For example, in a survey conducted by The Tribune, it is found that people who completed their basic learning are more efficiently spending their lives as compared to others who do not. Besides, almost 50 percent of them got higher degrees in different fields. Hence, basic knowledge is vital to survive and to gain a higher qualification. Moreover, when individuals educate themselves, it sharpens their intellect and improves their critical thinking as well as logical thinking. Therefore, there is an overall development of their brain, which may make their future bright. For instance, the primary education is compulsory for all the people in Canada, as a result, the employment rate is 90 percent, which is more than the other nations where the employment rate is below 60 percent. Thus basic learning reduces the unemployment rate by making them capable. To summarize, education is necessary for everyone as it gives vital them knowledge to survive, and it also helps them to acquire a reputed job by developing their mental ability. According to me, people should educate themselves until they reach the age of eighteen years.
Education
is essential in everyone’s life nowadays.
So
,
people
required to educate themselves at least up to the age of 18. In my opinion, they can gain
basic
knowledge and develops their mental ability.

To commence with, if masses study until the age of 18, they can
get
primary schooling. This could not
only
help
them in their day-to-day life,
but
also
act as a base to study higher
education
.
For example
, in a survey conducted by The Tribune, it
is found
that
people
who completed their
basic
learning are more
efficiently
spending their
lives
as compared to others who do not.
Besides
, almost 50 percent of them
got
higher degrees in
different
fields.
Hence
,
basic
knowledge is vital to survive and to gain a higher qualification.

Moreover
, when individuals educate themselves, it sharpens their intellect and
improves
their critical thinking
as well
as logical thinking.
Therefore
, there is an
overall
development of their brain, which may
make
their future bright.
For instance
, the primary
education
is compulsory for all the
people
in Canada,
as a result
, the employment rate is 90 percent, which is more than the other nations where the employment rate is below 60 percent.
Thus
basic
learning
reduces
the unemployment rate by making them capable.

To summarize
,
education
is necessary for everyone as it gives vital them knowledge to survive, and it
also
helps
them to acquire a reputed job by developing their mental ability.
According to me
,
people
should educate themselves until they reach the age of eighteen years.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Everyone need to study until the age of 18? Discuss and give your opinion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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