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The best way to reduce traffic accidents is to raise the age limit for younger drivers and to lower the age limit for elderly ones. Do you agree or disagree? v.4

The best way to reduce traffic accidents is to raise the age limit for younger drivers and to lower the age limit for elderly ones. v. 4
Nowadays it is argued that the paramount way to diminish car accidents is to increase the age limit driving permission for adolescents and decrease it for older people. While I utterly agree with this rule, this essay will opine my arguments using relevant illustrations. Firstly, youngsters ought to be prohibited from driving a car before the age of twenty five years. This is because before this age young people get drunk abundantly, which will lead them to lose their conscious while driving. As a result, they will tend to do a plethora of vehicle accidents without being aware of their behaviours. To illustrate, A survey conducted by the Lebanese University, claimed that the majority of road accidents are a consequence of drunk children driving their parents' cars. Therefore, prohibiting young aged from driving is crucial. Secondly, Old people should be having a personal driver, who will be responsible of their cars. In other words, the elderly might lose both visual and acoustic senses, which will cause a tremendous negative effect on the way they use their personal vehicle and will increase the rate of traffic accidents. One clear example here is a study conducted by the American Hospital in Beirut, showed that a huge number of senior generations lost control of their movement while driving, because they are under chronic medications. To sum up, grandparents should not drive while they use different medicines. To conclude, due to unpredictable behaviour of both young and old people, laws must change the age range of drivers, who should be responsible for their and others lives. In fact, I believe that this must be treated as a priority for all concerns.
Nowadays it
is argued
that the paramount way to diminish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
is to increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
limit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
permission for adolescents and decrease it for older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. While I
utterly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
, this essay will opine my arguments using relevant illustrations.

Firstly
, youngsters ought to
be prohibited
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
twenty five
years. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
drunk
abundantly
, which will lead them to lose their conscious while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
.
As a result
, they will tend to do a plethora of vehicle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
without being aware of their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
. To illustrate, A survey conducted by the Lebanese University, claimed that the majority of road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
are a consequence of drunk children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
their parents'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
.
Therefore
, prohibiting young aged from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
is crucial.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be having a personal driver, who will be
The usual collocations for "responsible" is "responsible for". Did you mean "responsible for" or "in charge of"?
responsible of
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
.
In other words
, the elderly might lose both visual and acoustic senses, which will cause a tremendous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on the way they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their personal vehicle and will increase the rate of traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
. One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
example here is a study conducted by the American Hospital in Beirut,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that a huge number of senior generations lost control of their movement while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are under chronic medications. To sum up, grandparents should not drive while they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
medicines.

To conclude
, due to unpredictable
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of both young and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, laws
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
range of drivers, who should be responsible for their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. In fact, I believe that this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be treated
as a priority for all concerns.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay The best way to reduce traffic accidents is to raise the age limit for younger drivers and to lower the age limit for elderly ones. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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