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Everyday animal are becoming extinc throughout the world. What do you think the causes of this are?What measure can you suggest to deal with this?

Everyday animal are becoming extinc throughout the world. What do you think the causes of this are? What measure can you suggest to deal with this? 9LO0p
In the modern day, more and more animals are enumerated in red list because of human awareness and behaviour. From my perspective, the best solution of this are upgrade people's behaviour and save animals. One main causes of this issue is that people keep hunting animals for their needs. Animal provide huge thing for people such as: bag, clothes, shoe, food, accessories. Some wild animal are still capture in the wild for the test, eventhough their number dwindling. The most well-know example of natural extinction is the rhinoceros. They have appeared for 300 years and now they almost disappear from the Earth. Human need they horn so they kill them to take it easier. Many animals die with the same reason. I have strong conviction that people can redress of their mistake with fauna. They can educate they knowledge to have better behave to the animal. For example, you can go to many animal organization and encourage your friend put more attention to it. You can also encourage the company which is test on wild anial. By this way you can deter fauna from dying. In the final analasys, it is clear that range of wild animal are in dangerous by human awareness and behaviour. But not too late for human to stop it, a little care can put many animal out of danger.
In the modern day, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are enumerated
in red list
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
awareness and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. From my perspective, the best solution of this are upgrade
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and save animals.

One main causes of this issue is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
hunting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for their needs.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Animal
provide huge thing for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
such as: bag, clothes, shoe, food, accessories.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
are
still
capture in the wild for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
eventhough
their number dwindling. The most well-know example of natural extinction is the rhinoceros. They have appeared for 300 years and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they almost disappear from the Earth.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Human
need they horn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they kill them to take it easier.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
with the same reason.

I have strong conviction that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can redress of their mistake with fauna. They can educate
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'they'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
they knowledge
to have better behave to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
.
For example
, you can go to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
organization and encourage your friend put more attention to it. You can
also
encourage the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
on wild
Possible spelling mistake found.
anial
. By this way you can deter fauna from dying.

In the final
Possible spelling mistake found.
analasys
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that range of wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
are in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
awareness and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
not too late for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
it, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
care can put
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
out of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
.
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IELTS essay Everyday animal are becoming extinc throughout the world. What do you think the causes of this are? What measure can you suggest to deal with this?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
224 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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