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Every year, crime rate is sharply increasing. Although, it is considered by some that the Capital Punishment is the efficient way to decrease the crime rate. While there are others who believe that it can be reduced by taking proper decisions. In my opinion, both are equally important to eradicate unlawful act.

Every year, crime rate is sharply increasing. Although, it is considered by some that the Capital Punishment is the efficient way to decrease the crime rate. While there are others who believe that it can be reduced by taking proper decisions. In my opinion, both are equally important to eradicate unlawful act. 6xKaK
Every year, crime rate is sharply increasing. Although, it is considered by some that the Capital Punishment is the efficient way to decrease the crime rate. While there are others who believe that it can be reduced by taking proper decisions. In my opinion, both are equally important to eradicate unlawful act. On the one hand, I personal think that for some illegal acts like rape, murder and drug trafficking, death sentence is the best way to deterrent crimes. This is the only harsh way to punish the criminals. Moreover, life imprisonment is also the best punishment, but many criminals come out on bail or by using political power. For example, as per the latest survey conducted by BBC news, out of 100 criminals, only 80 get convicted by court. In that 80 individuals, 40 get out on bail by showing political influence which is a major concern. Government should implement strict law and ensure that no culprit escape from the punishment. On the other hand, death sentence cannot be given to all wrongdoers, but it has to be chosen based on the offence. Some crimes like robbery should be punished by imposing fine and jail term. For instance, One of my friends violated traffic rule by over speeding due to some emergency issue, but he was not jailed because court understood his situation and let him go by imposing fine of 10, 000 rupees. Likewise, the judgement has to be implemented based on the act.
Every year,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate is
sharply
increasing.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, it
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that the Capital Punishment is the efficient way to decrease the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
there are others who believe that it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by taking proper decisions. In my opinion, both are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to eradicate unlawful act.

On the one hand,
Did you mean the adverb 'personally'?
I personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
illegal acts like rape, murder and drug trafficking, death sentence is the best way to deterrent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. This is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
harsh way to punish the criminals.
Moreover
, life imprisonment is
also
the best punishment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
criminals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out on bail or by using political power.
For example
, as per the latest survey conducted by BBC news, out of 100 criminals,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
80
Possible agreement error. The noun 'get' seems to be countable, so consider using: "gets".
get
convicted by court. In that 80 individuals, 40
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out on bail by showing political influence which is a major concern.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should implement strict law and ensure that no culprit escape from the punishment.

On the other hand
, death sentence cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to all wrongdoers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be chosen
based on the
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
like robbery should
be punished
by imposing fine and jail term.
For instance
, One of my friends violated traffic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
by over speeding due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
emergency issue,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he was not jailed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
court understood his situation and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
him go by imposing fine of 10, 000 rupees.
Likewise
, the judgement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be implemented
based on the act.
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Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Every year, crime rate is sharply increasing. Although, it is considered by some that the Capital Punishment is the efficient way to decrease the crime rate. While there are others who believe that it can be reduced by taking proper decisions. In my opinion, both are equally important to eradicate unlawful act.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
246 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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