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Every country should have a free healthcare service, if this means the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Every country should have a free healthcare service, if this means the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. v. 2
It is suggested that free health care facilities should be provided in every nation, even though it comes at a price of not being able to facilitate advance medical treatments. In my opinion, I somewhat agree that medical assistance must be accessible to all and other facilities including the inability to provide new-age medical treatments can be ignored. Firstly, free medical care will ensure that all the natives of a particular nation are treated equally, including the destitute and the economically deprived. In other words, the lower strata of the society will have an easy and equal access to the same facilities accessed by the higher strata of the community. This will create a sense of equality amongst the people and will assist the society and eventually the people to think about their well being. Due to free medical services, all members of the country will be more concerned about their physical fitness and will participate in periodic checkups, thereby, promoting a sense of well being. Another point to consider is that free health services mean elevated taxes for the tax paying population of the country. This will impose a burden on the middle class society who are battling to make both ends meet. Additionally, the costs of medical assistance, such as, doctor's fees, diagnostic test charges and hospitalization expenses will be borne by the government, which might eventually weaken the economy. Moreover, the increasing population will create additional pressure on the healthcare facilities and resources. Under these circumstances, the country would be unable to provide latest medical treatment to patients. To conclude, in order to benefit from the merits of a free medical care system, the demerits of increased taxes and inability to receive treatment from the latest technology would have to be accepted. Therefore, it is clear that free wellness programs will have both advantages and disadvantages.
It
is suggested
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
health care facilities should
be provided
in every nation,
even though
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
at a price of not being able to facilitate advance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatments
. In my opinion, I somewhat
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
assistance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be accessible to all and other facilities including the inability to provide new-age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatments
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
care will ensure that all the natives of a particular nation
are treated
equally
, including the destitute and the
economically
deprived.
In other words
, the lower strata of the society will have an easy and equal access to the same facilities accessed by the higher strata of the community. This will create a sense of equality amongst the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and will assist the society and
eventually
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about their
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
. Due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
services, all members of the country will be more concerned about their physical fitness and will participate in periodic checkups, thereby, promoting a sense of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
.

Another point to consider is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
health services mean elevated taxes for the tax paying population of the country. This will impose a burden
The usual prepositions to use when surrounded is "in" not "on". Did you mean "in the middle"?
on the middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
society who are battling to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
both ends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
.
Additionally
, the costs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
assistance, such as, doctor's fees, diagnostic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
charges and hospitalization expenses will
be borne
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, which might
eventually
weaken the economy.
Moreover
, the increasing population will create additional pressure on the healthcare facilities and resources.
Under these circumstances
, the country would be unable to provide
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
to patients.

To conclude
, in order to benefit from the merits of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
care system, the demerits of increased taxes and inability to receive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
from the latest technology would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
wellness programs will have both advantages and disadvantages.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Every country should have a free healthcare service, if this means the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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