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Eventhough globalization affects the world's economic in a very positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten. v.2

Eventhough globalization affects the world's economic in a very positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten. v. 2
In this contemporary era, globalization is flourishing in many countries. It has a major contribution to the world' s economy through various sectors such as trade, government and politics. Whereas, it has certain negative impacts on the society. An attempt is made here to analyse both the views. To begin with, globalization influence the economy to a great extent through international trade. In other words, several international companies work in collaboration with each other for manufacturing and producing quality goods and products. Such type of products invite the attention of public and can in turn flourish the business. This type of trade contributes a lot to the economy. To give a clear example, Nutella, is a widely accepted international food product whose ingredients are supplied by different nations. This brand constitutes almost 30 percent of world economy. On the other hand, as the world economy is contributed by different countries, there would be an increased chance for disputes between the nations. This would even resort to international conflicts which may affect the overall stability of the world. Apart from that, when the borders of the countries are open for everyone, people can easily access different nations without any restriction. This can spread communicable diseases easily to other countries. Outbreak of diseases to a large population would be difficult to control. Finally, globalization can cause cultural transmission. When people from one country move to other, it paves the way to the blending of different cultures. Thus, the identity of a country can be easily lost. To recapitulate, as a coin have 2 sides, globalization also have its benefits and negatives. Globalization facilitates easy movement of people from one country to another for education, trade and occupation. Therefore, the contribution of globalisation in world' s economy downplay its negatives such as cultural blending and spread of communicable diseases.
In this contemporary era, globalization is flourishing in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. It has a major contribution to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
world&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
through various sectors such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trade
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and politics.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, it has certain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on the society. An attempt
is made
here to
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
both the views.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, globalization influence the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
to a great extent through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trade
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
work in collaboration with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
for manufacturing and producing quality
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and products. Such type of products invite the attention of public and can in turn flourish the business. This type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trade
contributes a lot to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
. To give a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
example, Nutella, is a
widely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
food product whose ingredients
are supplied
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
nations. This brand constitutes almost 30 percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
economy.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
is contributed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, there would be an increased chance for disputes between the nations. This would even resort to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
conflicts which may affect the
overall
stability of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. Apart from that, when the borders of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are open for everyone,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
easily
access
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
nations without any restriction. This can spread communicable diseases
easily
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Outbreak of diseases to a large population would be difficult to control.

Finally
, globalization can cause cultural transmission. When
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
, it paves the way to the blending of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
cultures.
Thus
, the identity of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can be
easily
lost.

To recapitulate, as a coin have 2 sides, globalization
also
have its benefits and negatives. Globalization facilitates easy movement of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to another for education,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trade
and occupation.
Therefore
, the contribution of
Do not mix variants of the same word ('globalisation' and 'globalization') within a single text.
globalisation
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
world&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
downplay its negatives such as cultural blending and spread of communicable diseases.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Eventhough globalization affects the world's economic in a very positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
306 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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