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Even though globalization affects the world’s economies in a very positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten. Discuss. v.1

Even though globalization affects the world’s economies in a very positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten. Discuss. v. 1
Globalization is such a commonly used term in the twentieth century. It simply means that the world has become integrated economically, socially, politically and culturally through the advances of technology, transportation and communication. It is undeniable that globalization has resulted in both positive and negative effects which must be addressed accordingly. To begin with, globalization has contributed to the world’s economies in many beneficial ways. The advances in science and technology have allowed businesses to easily cross over territorial boundary lines. Consequently, companies tend to become more productive and competitive which thereby raises the quality of goods, services and the world’s living standard. Secondly, several companies from the more developed countries have already ventured to establish foreign operations or branches to take advantage of the low cost of labour in the poorer countries. This kind of business activity will provide more influx of cash or investment funds into the less developed countries. However, one cannot deny the negative effects which have derived from globalization. One crucial social aspect is the risk and danger of epidemic diseases which can easily be spread as the transportation becomes easier and faster in today’s advanced society. This is evidenced in the recent bird flu disease which has infected most Asian countries over a short period of time. As large corporations invest In or take over many offshore businesses, a modern form of colonization will also evolve which may pose certain power pressure on the local governments of the less developed countries. Unemployment rates in the more developed regions such as Europe may also escalate as corporations choose to outsource to the cheaper work force from Asian countries. In conclusion. I like to reiterate that globalization is inevitable and we must urge individuals, companies and governments should use a more balanced approach by taking the appropriate steps to deal with matters relating to the financial and economical gains verses the social, political or ecological concerns of the world.
Globalization is such a
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
term in the twentieth century. It
simply
means that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
has become integrated
economically
,
socially
,
politically
and
culturally
through the advances of technology, transportation and communication. It is undeniable that globalization has resulted in both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be addressed
accordingly
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, globalization has contributed to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world’s
economies in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
beneficial ways. The advances in science and technology have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
businesses to
easily
cross over territorial boundary lines.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
tend to become more productive and competitive which thereby raises the quality of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, services and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world’s
living standard.

Secondly
, several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
from the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have already ventured to establish foreign operations or branches to take advantage of the low cost of
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
in the poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. This kind of business activity will provide more influx of cash or investment funds into the less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
countries.

However
, one cannot deny the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects which have derived from globalization. One crucial social aspect is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of epidemic diseases which can
easily
be spread
as the transportation becomes easier and faster in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s advanced society. This
is evidenced
in the recent bird flu disease which has infected most Asian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
over a short period of time.

As large corporations invest In or take over
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
offshore businesses, a modern form of colonization will
also
evolve which may pose certain power pressure on the local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
of the less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Unemployment rates in the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
regions such as Europe may
also
escalate as corporations choose to outsource to the cheaper work force from Asian countries.

In conclusion
. I like to reiterate that globalization is
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
inevitable and
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
urge individuals,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a more balanced approach by taking the appropriate steps to deal with matters relating to the financial and economical gains verses the social, political or ecological concerns of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay Even though globalization affects the world’s economies in a very positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten. Discuss. v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
323 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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