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More and more information about the lives of celebrities is found in newspapers, magazines, and online.

More and more information about the lives of celebrities is found in newspapers, magazines, and online. nxBKR
World is now technology based and we can get any kind of information by using Internet. The best invention is mobile phone which brings the whole world in our hands. That's the reason, i think that we can easily find more informations about celebrities in online as well as newspapers, magazines. Celebrities are public figure and they become celebrities by us as see their dedications, films, dances, lifestyles and also hearing songs. Celebrities are not only singers, dancers, actors, actresses or directors, producers but also models, social service workers etc. Unfortunately, they ought to viral for their works otherwise they cannot get names and fames which is much needed for them. They work hard for it that's why they deliver their personal data to Internet, magazines and newspapers collet data from them and supply it to public. In this regard, the celebrities get a huge publicity by them and i think it is one of the reason the celebrities share it. This kind of publicity is good for their career. However, sometimes it can be wrost because some bad people can be misused the information and their reputation can be spoilt by this kind of works. In addition, sometimes they commit suicide for the incidents. We can say that sharing personal details is not a good decision for anyone even celebrities and consequently they should avoid it. Otherwise, they have to face a big problem which can be destroyed someone's beautiful, peaceful life. In conclusion, i like to add that we should keep our personal data secret. We can be successful without giving our personal information because more essential is working hard.
World is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
technology
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
based and
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
any kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
by using Internet. The best invention is mobile phone which brings the whole world in our hands. That's the reason,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that we can
easily
find more
The word 'informations' is a legal term. In standard English, the word 'information' is a non-count noun. Did you mean "information"?
informations
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
in online
as well
as newspapers, magazines.

Celebrities are public
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
figure and
they become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
by us as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their dedications, films, dances, lifestyles and
also
hearing songs.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Celebrities
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
singers, dancers, actors, actresses or directors, producers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
models, social service workers etc. Unfortunately, they ought to viral for their works
otherwise
they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
names and
Possible spelling mistake found.
fames
which is
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
much needed
for them. They work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for it that's why they deliver their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
data to Internet, magazines and newspapers collet data from them and supply it to public. In this regard, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a huge publicity by them and
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is one of the reason the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
share it. This kind of publicity is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for their career.

However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it can be
Possible spelling mistake found.
wrost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
be misused
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and their reputation can be
Possible spelling mistake. 'spoilt' is British English.
spoilt
by this kind of works.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they commit suicide for the incidents.

We can say that sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
decision for anyone even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
and
consequently
they should avoid it.
Otherwise
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problem which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
someone's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
, peaceful life.

In conclusion
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
that we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
data secret. We can be successful without giving our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
more essential is working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
.
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IELTS essay More and more information about the lives of celebrities is found in newspapers, magazines, and online.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
272 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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