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Establishing good relationships in the workplace is not important, as the primary goal of every person is to focus on work. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

It is commonly argued that building a warm relationship with colleagues at work is not crucial while the concentration on work is the essential goal. I totally agree with the second view and in this essay I will discuss my opinion providing by reasons. With regards to the primary goal which is the concentration, the employees who focus in their work, their productivity will be more than who has a collegues because they may lead to distract them. In addition, the employee who works without any help of colleagues will be more confident by his achievements that he acheives. Many researchers assured that the one who works by himself with the full of concentration, he will achieve more than what group of colleagues can do together. The focus may lead the employee to the growth in his work. Turning to establishing a warm relationships in workplace is not necessary because may hinder the concentration of the workers and there will be no productivity, there are colleagues who rely in others so team work with colleagues is not fair as who works lonely. To sum up, the main reason for productivity is to focus without any causes that lead to distraction such as establishing relationships in workplace.
It is
commonly
argued that building a warm relationship with
colleagues
at
work
is not crucial while the
concentration
on
work
is the essential goal. I
totally
agree
with the second view and in this essay I will discuss my opinion providing by reasons. With regards to the primary goal which is the
concentration
, the employees
who
focus in their
work
, their productivity will be more than
who
has a collegues
because
they may lead to distract them.
In addition
, the employee
who
works without any
help
of
colleagues
will be more confident by his achievements that he acheives.
Many
researchers assured that the one
who
works by himself with the full of
concentration
, he will achieve more than what group of
colleagues
can do together. The focus may lead the employee to the growth in his
work
. Turning to establishing a warm relationships in workplace is not necessary
because
may hinder the
concentration
of the workers and there will be no productivity, there are
colleagues
who
rely in others
so
team
work
with
colleagues
is not
fair
as
who
works lonely.

To sum up, the main reason for productivity is to focus without any causes that lead to distraction such as establishing relationships in workplace.
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IELTS essay Establishing good relationships in the workplace is not important, as the primary goal of every person is to focus on work.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
206 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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