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Establishing good relationship on workplace is not a good idea, as one can pay more attention towards his work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Establishing good relationship on workplace is not a good idea, as one can pay more attention towards his work. KW8Lk
Undoubtedly, work is utmost important in today's life to feed ownself and family members too. It is a notion that friendship districts one's attention from the work, person is doing. No doubt, statement is correct to some extent but still to work more accurately and more focusly friendly atmosphere is very crucial in my opinion Firstly, friendzone gives relaxation to a person or anyone else from his hectic time period. In workplaces, there is a lot of pressure of tasks given by the employers which may put someone in any mental depression or sometimes employees sticks in any trouble, as a person is working in a bank and has stuck in troubleshoot, also he is not so capable to takeover himself from the trouble, on that occasion, neighbours of that person would pull him from the problem. In addition, by spending small amount of time with colleagues a person can relax his mind and might work more effectively this might lead to growth of that particular field. Secondary, relationships with colleagues make atmosphere more comfortable as one can share his experiences with others and may not hesitate to take help from one another On other side, there may be some problems can occur due to friendship on worksites, as friends may disturb one's attention from work and it might ruin his all the project. To sum-up, although working as a employee is the big responsibility and employees must take care of it yet, it is meaningless not to make good relationship on work sites as it has many advantages.
Undoubtedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is utmost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's life to feed
Possible spelling mistake found.
ownself
and family members too. It is a notion that friendship districts one's attention from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is doing. No doubt, statement is correct to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
more
accurately
and more
Possible spelling mistake found.
focusly
friendly atmosphere is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial in my opinion

Firstly
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
friendzone
gives relaxation to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
or anyone else from his hectic time period. In workplaces, there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
pressure of tasks
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by the employers which may put someone in any mental depression or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
employees sticks in any trouble, as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is working in a bank and has stuck in troubleshoot,
also
he is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
capable to takeover himself from the trouble, on that occasion,
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
would pull him from the problem.
In addition
, by spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount of time with colleagues a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can relax his mind and might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
more
effectively
this might lead to growth of that particular field.

Secondary, relationships with colleagues
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
atmosphere more comfortable as one can share his experiences with others and may not hesitate to take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from one another

On other side, there may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems can occur due to friendship on worksites, as friends may disturb one's attention from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and it might ruin his all the project.

To sum-up, although working as
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
employee is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
responsibility and employees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take care of it
yet
, it is meaningless not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationship on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
sites as it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages.
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IELTS essay Establishing good relationship on workplace is not a good idea, as one can pay more attention towards his work.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
259 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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