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Environmental degradation has engendered some valid concerns among people across the globe. What are the causes and how can government as well as individuals deal with such issues?

Environmental degradation has engendered some valid concerns among people across the globe. What are the causes and how can government as well as individuals deal with such issues? RyBYP
It is universally acknowledged that the deterioration of environmental quality in recent decades has provoked scores of unequivocal fears worldwide. This essay will shed light on two principal culprits before proposing feasible measures to tackle with the aforementioned phenomenon. It is possibly said that this issue may be caused by some main factors. One of the prominent culprits concerning this problem is the colossal energy consumption in production. To be more specific, due to the industrial revolution, humans eager to facilitate as much as products for a better living. Thereby, the combustion of fossil fuels increases remarkably with exhaust emissions, which engender air pollution around the world. Another factor leading to this situation is the widespread use of fuel-powered vehicles, especially automobiles. For example, traffic congestion in Vietnam is considered aggravating day by day. This is compounded by the rocketing rate of car ownership among Vietnamese nationals, which catastrophically exacerbates the rate of air pollution. In truth, some imperative measures ought to be implemented to resolve these issues. First and foremost, the government should allocate in funding the green energy. This means people should use sustainable energy, such as solar energy, biomass energy, or geothermal energy instead of unsustainable inputs of energy like coal, fossil fuel oil, and so on. In addition, it is an individual’s responsibility to be equipped with a profound awareness of protecting the environment. Particularly, people should switch from single-use plastic bottles to reusable containers. For example, in the travel and tourism industry, companies can take great advantage of recyclable products made by the craftsman to serve their customers. Moreover, small or large businesses are encouraged to turn to use eco-friendly products such as paper, bamboo cups, or materials that can be able to disintegrate. In conclusion, there are indeed various repercussions regarding environmental contamination, yet, they can be solved once drastic measures enlisted are enacted with the mutual support of every individual living on mother Earth.
It is
universally
acknowledged that the deterioration of environmental quality in recent decades has provoked scores of unequivocal fears worldwide. This essay will shed light on two principal culprits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
proposing feasible measures to tackle with the aforementioned phenomenon.

It is
possibly
said that this issue may
be caused
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
main factors. One of the prominent culprits concerning this problem is the colossal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
consumption in production. To be more specific, due to the industrial revolution, humans eager to facilitate as much as products for a better living. Thereby, the combustion of fossil fuels increases
remarkably
with exhaust emissions, which engender air pollution around the world. Another factor leading to this situation is the widespread
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of fuel-powered vehicles,
especially
automobiles.
For example
, traffic congestion in Vietnam
is considered
aggravating day by day. This
is compounded
by the rocketing rate of car ownership among Vietnamese nationals, which
catastrophically
exacerbates the rate of air pollution.

In truth,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
imperative measures ought to
be implemented
to resolve these issues.
First
and foremost, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should allocate in funding the green
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
. This means
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
sustainable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
, such as solar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
, biomass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
, or geothermal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
instead
of unsustainable inputs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
like coal, fossil fuel oil, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
In addition
, it is an individual’s responsibility to
be equipped
with a profound awareness of protecting the environment.
Particularly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should switch from single-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
plastic bottles to reusable containers.
For example
, in the travel and tourism industry,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
can take great advantage of recyclable products made by the craftsman to serve their customers.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
or large businesses
are encouraged
to turn to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
eco-friendly products such as paper, bamboo cups, or materials that can be able to disintegrate.

In conclusion
, there are
indeed
various repercussions regarding environmental contamination,
yet
, they can
be solved
once drastic measures enlisted
are enacted
with the mutual support of every individual living on mother Earth.
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IELTS essay Environmental degradation has engendered some valid concerns among people across the globe. What are the causes and how can government as well as individuals deal with such issues?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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