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Essay topics: TPO-20 - Independent Writing TaskDo you agree or disagree with the following statement? Successful people try new things and take risks rather than only doing what they know how to do well. Use specific reasons and examples to support your ans v.2

Essay topics: TPO-20 - Independent Writing Task Successful people try new things and take risks rather than only doing what they know how to do well. Use specific reasons and examples to support your ans v. 2
“Be the one who dares”, the archaic saying comes from the British Naval Army. It means that the one who takes a risk may gain the victory. I conclude that neither in the war nor in life, people can be successful without taking a risk and moving forward. The capability to invent a new technology or to augment the established technique needs a willingness to take a risk. The successful people experience this repeatedly, therefore, I agree with the statement above. First, the exemplary person always takes a calculated risk so they can produce the brand new idea or invention. They do not jump to an arbitrary decision but they execute a rational, comprehensive, and well-investigated plan. Whereas the common people neither took a risk and choose to play safe and hinder a drastic change, the noteworthy person can foresee the benefit of taking the risk for an invention of cutting-edge technologies and cultivate it to make a substantial profit. For example, Bill Gates chose to drop out from Harvard in pursuit of Microsoft, from general view this is a harmful decision but for him, but for him it is the right thing to do. He successfully made the windows software and built his empire from zero. The rest is a history. Second, the success comes from a continuous upgrade of knowledge. They believe that science is expanding; they understand that the modern now will become obsolete in decades later. Furthermore, the ability to do research and read the market makes the successful people always a step ahead. For instance, Samsung always works in perpetual research for the new television technology. Instead, stick to their trademark, they insist on finding a television that efficient, everlasting and durable. Hence, they successfully invent the LCD TV and become the leading market. Lastly, although they try new things, the successful people also ready to fail. The risky decision sometime comes with less than hopeful results. When they try a different thing, they may lose their money or decrease the value of their stock. Instead become dismal with the situation, they take the lesson and start over. This new knowledge becomes a building block of skill and expertise. Practice makes perfect; this applies in the search of greatness. In fact, Colonel Sanders failed to make his well-known fried chicken a thousand time before the chicken we all love arrived. Ultimately, a success comes with hard work and perseverance. It also tangles with bravery and ability to improve. All things considered, I completely agree with the statement above.
“Be the one who dares”, the archaic saying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comes
from the British Naval Army. It means that the one who takes a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
may gain the victory. I conclude that neither in the war nor in life,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
without taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
and moving forward. The capability to invent a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
technology or to augment the established technique needs a willingness to take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
experience this
repeatedly
,
therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement above.

First
, the exemplary person always takes a calculated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can produce the brand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
or invention. They do not jump to an arbitrary decision
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they execute a rational, comprehensive, and well-investigated plan. Whereas the common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
neither took a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
and choose to play safe and hinder a drastic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
, the noteworthy person can foresee the benefit of taking the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
for an invention of cutting-edge technologies and cultivate it to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a substantial profit.
For example
, Bill Gates chose to drop out from Harvard in pursuit of Microsoft, from general view this is a harmful decision
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for him,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for him it is the right thing to do. He
successfully
made the windows software and built his empire from zero. The rest is a history.

Second, the success
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comes
from a continuous upgrade of knowledge. They believe that science is expanding; they understand that the modern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
obsolete in decades later.
Furthermore
, the ability to do research and read the market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always a step ahead.
For instance
, Samsung always works in perpetual research for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
television technology.
Instead
, stick to their trademark, they insist on finding a television that efficient, everlasting and durable.
Hence
, they
successfully
invent the LCD TV and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
the leading market.

Lastly
, although they try
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
ready to fail. The risky decision sometime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comes
with less than hopeful results. When they try a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
thing, they may lose their money or decrease the value of their stock.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Instead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
dismal with the situation, they take the lesson and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
over. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
knowledge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
a building block of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and expertise. Practice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
perfect; this applies in the search of greatness. In fact, Colonel Sanders failed to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
his well-known fried chicken a thousand time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the chicken we all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
arrived.

Ultimately
, a success
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comes
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work and perseverance. It
also
tangles with bravery and ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
. All things considered, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement above.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Essay topics: TPO-20 - Independent Writing Task Successful people try new things and take risks rather than only doing what they know how to do well. Use specific reasons and examples to support your ans v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
423 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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