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Essay topics: In some area of the US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion on this? v.2

Essay topics: In some area of the US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion on this? v. 2
To control law and order situation of Southern part of USA, government declared a curfew from 6 P. M. to 5 A. M. in the next morning until situation comes under control. Although it is a good idea to control recent unrest, teenagers are facing many problem in this period. I will discuss all the issues and how it can be tackled in my further paragraphs. To embark on, recent agitation was quite unfortunate and many people lost their life and many properties are vandalized. Government has no other choice, but to implement a stringent action such as " a curfew" . Although situation is much better, young children are facing many issues. Firstly, most of the people are unable to attend tuition classes as most their parents reach home after 7 P. M. from office. Secondly, many families are facing in purchasing household items. Though shops are open till night, young people cannot go out without accompanying an adult. Lastly, all outdoor activities of children are stopped. No playground and park are open after 6 P. M. which lead to detrimental health effect on children. However, government should take action on people who have agitated this riot instead of putting a ban. Furthermore, surveillance cameras should be installed all over the areas and should be monitored strictly. In addition to this, increasing the number of security personnel can help local governing body to take control of the situation. Lastly, people who are involved in this unrest must be given an opportunity to talk with government so that situation can be handled peacefully and such incident can be stopped in occurring again. To conclude, although imposing " a curfew" is a quick action to control an unrest, many innocent people specially young suffer a lot which can be eliminated through peaceful talk.
To
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
law and order
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
of Southern part
A determiner is probably missing here: "of the USA".
of USA
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
declared a curfew from 6 P. M. to 5 A. M. in the
next
morning until
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
under
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
. Although it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
recent unrest,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are facing
Possible agreement error. The noun problem seems to be countable; consider using: "many problems".
many problem
in this period. I will discuss all the issues and how it can
be tackled
in my
further
paragraphs.

To embark on, recent agitation was quite unfortunate and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lost their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
properties
are vandalized
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
has no other choice,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to implement a stringent action such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
; a
Possible spelling mistake found.
curfew&quot
;
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
is much better, young children are facing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
issues.
Firstly
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are unable to attend tuition classes as most their parents reach home after 7 P. M. from office.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
families are facing in purchasing household items. Though shops are open till night, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot go out without accompanying an adult.
Lastly
, all outdoor activities of children are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
. No playground and park are open after 6 P. M. which lead to detrimental health effect on children.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should take action on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have agitated this riot
instead
of putting a ban.
Furthermore
, surveillance cameras should
be installed
all over the areas and should
be monitored
strictly
.
In addition
to this, increasing the number of security personnel can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
local governing body to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
.
Lastly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
are involved
in this unrest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
an opportunity to talk with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
can
be handled
peacefully
and such incident can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
in occurring again.

To conclude
, although imposing
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
; a
Possible spelling mistake found.
curfew&quot
; is a quick action to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
an unrest,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
innocent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
specially
young suffer a lot which can
be eliminated
through peaceful talk.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Essay topics: In some area of the US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion on this? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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