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Environmental problems ore loo big for individual countries and individual persons for address. ln other words, we hove reached a stage where the only way to protect the environment is at an international level. To what extent do you agree or disagree wi v.1

Environmental problems ore loo big for individual countries and individual persons for address. ln other words, we hove reached a stage where the only way to protect the environment is at an international level. wi v. 1
It is argued that free humanitarian services should be made a mandatory aspect of high school curriculum. This essay strongly agrees with this suggestion because of the benefits it would bring to students. Firstly, this essay will discuss the view that social work can help students in high school develop useful skills; and secondly, discuss the fact that it will facilitate their discovery of innate talents. Participation in community welfare work has been proven to help students develop vital life skills. That is to say that students who take part in meaningful social support tend to develop abilities that help them in other areas of life, especially work. Some of such proficiencies include leadership, communication and interpersonal skills; team work, problem solving etc. For instance, recent research by the Bureau of Public Learning in Lagos, Nigeria shows that secondary school students who initiated or participated in neighbourhood improvement programmes majorly ended up as CEOs of top businesses or in senior management positions of multinational companies. Furthermore, high schoolers are likely to discover their inherent potentials in the course of voluntary work. These are talents and abilities which may not be otherwise discovered in the classroom, but could be uncovered in the process of coaching younger children, fundraising to champion causes or selling bake sale products. For example, my older brother who currently works as a painter was unaware of his love for painting until he, along with other senior year boys from his school, banded together to repaint the weathered walls of an old, retired teacher's home. In conclusion, community welfare work should be made obligatory for students in their high school years because it could help them develop important life skills as well as uncover hitherto unknown capabilities which they possess.
It
is argued
that free humanitarian services should
be made
a mandatory aspect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum. This essay
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with this suggestion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the benefits it would bring to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Firstly
, this essay will discuss the view that social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develop
useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
; and
secondly
, discuss the fact that it will facilitate their discovery of innate talents.

Participation in community welfare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
has
been proven
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develop
vital life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
That is
to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in meaningful social support tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develop
abilities that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them in other areas of life,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of such proficiencies include leadership, communication and interpersonal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
; team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, problem solving etc.
For instance
, recent research by the Bureau of Public Learning in Lagos, Nigeria
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who initiated or participated in
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
improvement
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
majorly
ended up as CEOs of top businesses or in senior management positions of multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
schoolers are likely to discover their inherent potentials in the course of voluntary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. These are talents and abilities which may not be
otherwise
discovered in the classroom,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
could
be uncovered
in the process of coaching younger children, fundraising to champion causes or selling bake sale products.
For example
, my older brother who
currently
works as a painter was unaware of his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
for painting until he, along with other senior year boys from his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, banded together to repaint the weathered walls of an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, retired teacher's home.

In conclusion
, community welfare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
should
be made
obligatory for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
as well
as uncover hitherto unknown capabilities which they possess.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Environmental problems ore loo big for individual countries and individual persons for address. ln other words, we hove reached a stage where the only way to protect the environment is at an international level. wi v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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