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ome individuals think that there should be the certain punishments for each kind of guilt. Others believe that punishment should be changed in terms of the reason why they commit the crime.

ome individuals think that there should be the certain punishments for each kind of guilt. Others believe that punishment should be changed in terms of the reason why they commit the crime. aEMr7
There has been a crucial problem for punishment for each type of crime throughout the decades. Moreover, most philosophers have been discussed the topic over years. Some individuals think that there should be the certain punishments for each kind of guilt. Others believe that punishment should be changed in terms of the reason why they commit the crime. In my opinion, fixed punishment would not be fair for an individual crime because some people can commit a crime for protecting themselves. In contrast, others can intentionally hurt others. First of all, there should not be fixed punishment for an individual quilt. On of the main reasons is that every individual is unique and the reason why they attempt the crime can vary from people to people. Therefore, judge should first listen to guilty and witnesses to understand the situation clearly. Sometimes what is seen as a guilty might be a victim. For instance, a woman might be raped by a man. In order to protect herself, she can unintentionally kill or hurt the rapper. In this situation, women can not be seen equal as a person who kill the other individual by intention in terms of the laws. Woman is annihilated by this man in this event so she just murdered him to survive from his abuse. It is controversial that who is the real quality. If there would be a certain punishment for killing a person, women might be put in a jail for years which she does not deserve for this crime. On the other hand, there might be fixed punishment for some type of crimes such as rape because this kind of crimes generally committed intentionally. In addition to this, rape is kind of a crime which abuses person’s body and soul. Nobody would rape someone for protecting their own freedom. There is no logical argument for someone who rape a woman. In conclusion, some types of crimes should be fixed punishment on the other than, some of them should not be a certain punishment in front of the laws. Committing a crime can depend on the situation. Therefore, the reason of the committing a crime is the most important thing than the quilt itself. However; as I have written before, some types of the crimes might require fixed punishment such as rape.
There has been a crucial problem for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
for each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
throughout the decades.
Moreover
, most philosophers have
been discussed
the topic over years.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there should be the certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
for each kind of guilt. Others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
in terms of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why they commit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
would not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
for an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can commit a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
for protecting themselves.
In contrast
, others can
intentionally
hurt others.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, there should not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
for an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
quilt. On of the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
is that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
is unique and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why they attempt the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
can vary from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Therefore
, judge should
first
listen to guilty and witnesses to understand the situation
clearly
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
what is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as a guilty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be a victim.
For instance
, a woman
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be raped
by a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
. In order to protect herself, she can
unintentionally
kill or hurt the rapper. In this situation, women can not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
equal as a person who kill the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
by intention in terms of the laws. Woman
is annihilated
by this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
in this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
she
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
murdered him to survive from his abuse. It is controversial that who is the real quality. If there would be a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
for killing a person, women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be put
in a jail for years which she does not deserve for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rape
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
generally
committed
intentionally
.
In addition
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rape
is
If 'kind' is a classification term, 'a' is not necessary. Use "kind of". (The phrases 'kind of' and 'sort of' are informal if they mean 'to some extent'.)
kind of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
which abuses person’s body and soul. Nobody would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rape
someone for protecting their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
freedom. There is no logical argument for someone who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rape
a woman.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
than,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them should not be a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
in front of the laws. Committing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
can depend on the situation.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
of the committing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing than the quilt itself.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
; as I have written
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rape
.
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IELTS essay ome individuals think that there should be the certain punishments for each kind of guilt. Others believe that punishment should be changed in terms of the reason why they commit the crime.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
386 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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