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Entertainment field need to be paid well . what extend do you agree or disagree. which profession requires high salary

Entertainment field need to be paid well. what extend which profession requires high salary 113VX
Of late, many professionals are receiving high salaries mostly, it depends on their education, experience and the risk associated with the job. Even though the people who work in the entertainment field are having some risk, so as the jobs like astronauts, construction field workers which is far more dangerous. It is obvious to be determined based on the harm of each field. There are several jobs that require high-level skills and talents and those sectors needs to be paid well for their hard work. However, in the current world, people become selfish moreover looking for their own benefits and profits which cause the low-level workers like general laborers or field workers to receive a few amounts regardless of their hard work. For instance, in the Middle East countries, the weather is always at an extreme level especially in the summer; many people work in that climate in an open space without any aid this could lead to dangerous health conditions such as sunburn dehydration and so on. Even after these sufferings, they earn a little bit of money. To sum up, not only the one occupation deserves more payment it needs to be calculated according to the danger behind the job. Another factor depends on the length and duration and cost of the profession. For example, people who serve in the military, need to be paid hand full of money. They fight for the country and protect the people in it. They spend their lifetime training and serving and in return a small pension and some allowances if they come alive. While the film heroes and stars are earned well. Undoubtedly, it is cruel too, those who work side by side and certainly the government's perspectives need to be changed. In conclusion, not only one every career has to be respected with their dignity and rightfulness whether it is a low-class or high-class work. If people get a good amount for their job, maybe the migration can be reduced in the future.
Of late,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
professionals are receiving high salaries
mostly
, it depends on their education, experience and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
associated with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Even though
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the entertainment field are having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
like astronauts, construction field workers which is far more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
. It is obvious to
be determined
based on the harm of each field.

There are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that require high-level
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and talents and those sectors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to
be paid
well for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
However
, in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become selfish
moreover
looking for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits and profits which cause the low-level workers like general laborers or field workers to receive a few amounts regardless of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
For instance
, in the Middle East countries, the weather is always at an extreme level
especially
in the summer;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in that climate in an open space without any aid this could lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
health conditions such as sunburn dehydration and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Even after these sufferings, they earn a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
of money. To sum up, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the one occupation deserves more payment it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to
be calculated
according to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
behind the job.

Another factor depends on the length and duration and cost of the profession.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who serve in the military,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
be paid
hand full of money. They fight for the country and protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in it. They spend their lifetime training and serving and in return a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
pension and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
allowances if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
alive. While the film heroes and stars
are earned
well.
Undoubtedly
, it is cruel too, those who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
side by side and
certainly
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's perspectives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
.

In conclusion
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one every career
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be respected
with their dignity and rightfulness whether it is a low-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
or high-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
amount for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, maybe the migration can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
in the future.
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IELTS essay Entertainment field need to be paid well. what extend which profession requires high salary

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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