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Is televised talent a good method?

Is televised talent a good method? NVgl0
In my opinion, television programs in general are one of the best ways to introduce talented people, and since a wide range of people listen to such programs, it is important that the Islamic Republic of Iran Broadcasting can also be in this field. Produce more programs like "New Age". I agree that using the TV space to introduce the talents of Iran and the world is very good, but other ways should not be neglected. However, even cyberspace can not cover this wide range like radio and television. Finally, I must point out that today, with the creation of digital and electronic methods that can remotely control everything, traditional methods are no longer widely used, and I completely agree with the introduction of successful and talented people on television.
In my opinion, television programs
in general
are one of the best ways to introduce talented
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, and since a wide range of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
listen to such programs, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that the Islamic Republic of Iran Broadcasting can
also
be in this field. Produce more programs like
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
New Age
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that using the TV space to introduce the talents of Iran and the world is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
other ways should not
be neglected
.
However
, even cyberspace can not cover this wide range like radio and television.
Finally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
point out that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, with the creation of digital and electronic methods that can
remotely
control everything, traditional methods are no longer
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
, and I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the introduction of successful and talented
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
on television.
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IELTS essay Is televised talent a good method?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
130 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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