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Entertainers (live actors, singer etc) are paid huge amount of sums as compared to other professionals like doctor, engineer etc. Do you think is it fair. Write both the views and your opinion.

Entertainers (live actors, singer etc) are paid huge amount of sums as compared to other professionals like doctor, engineer etc. Do you think is it fair. Write both the views and your opinion. E72yb
In our world, there are so many professions and every profession is important and good for work. Everyone needs this and without this our world is nothing. Everyone have a talent. Perfectness of people are in many fields like entertainment, doctor, engineer etc. Entertainers are those who entertain their audience, audience in thousands or millions, and paid huge amount in their organizers. Single person(audience) is not give the whole amount of sums. This huge sum is paid through whole audience so it's fair. If we compared the entertainers paid amount to other professionals it's a gauge amount. Other professionals like doctors, engineer etc are not demand a high amount of money. If we talk about doctors they don't charge big because every type of people i. e poor, middle, rich class come to him/her for treatment. That's why they charge fair amount of money so everyone come for treatment. I think it's fair the difference between entertainers and other professionals because the entertainers are not work on daily basis they work whenever theirs demand. Its may be monthly or yearly. So, this is the main reason why they paid huge amount of money also they don't know when the next assignment is assign. And in contrast of other professionals, they work on the daily basis. So, that's why they don't pay a big amount of sum. In my opinion, both of their views about the payment is good. Because you know without money we can't survive in this world. So, its important for both of them
In our world, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
professions and every profession is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. Everyone needs this and without this our world is nothing. Everyone
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "has".
have
a talent. Perfectness of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fields like entertainment, doctor, engineer etc.

Entertainers are those who entertain their audience, audience in thousands or millions, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
in their organizers. Single person(audience) is not give the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of sums. This huge sum is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
through whole audience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
.

“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
we compared the entertainers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
it's a gauge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
like doctors, engineer etc are not demand a high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. If we talk about doctors they don't charge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
every type of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
i. e poor, middle, rich
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to him/her for treatment. That's why they charge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
for treatment.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
the difference between entertainers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the entertainers are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on daily basis they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
whenever theirs demand. Its may
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "is".
be
monthly or yearly.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, this is the main reason why they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
also
they don't know when the
next
assignment is assign. And
in contrast
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on the daily basis.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, that's why they don't pay a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of sum.

In my opinion, both of their views about the payment is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
you know without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
we can't survive in this world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for both of them
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IELTS essay Entertainers (live actors, singer etc) are paid huge amount of sums as compared to other professionals like doctor, engineer etc. Do you think is it fair. Write both the views and your opinion.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
255 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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