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enormous impressive buildings are important for a city but some people believe that money should be spent on improving school and hospitals in a city

enormous impressive buildings are important for a city but some people believe that money should be spent on improving school and hospitals in a city XEVjA
There are two opinions about constructions in a city, some people think enormous impressive buildings are important for a city but some people believe that money should be spent on improving school and hospitals in a city In my opinion the first idea is better, government should make their priority on citizen education and hygiene. It is important to build professional hospital in every city even in remote part of country also children in village can study for free It is good to build fantastic huge structure in cities and attract tourism to earn money and promote our culture and traditions to the world, in condition that any children in country do not deprive of their right of education and any sick person do not die of lack of medical service in whole country In some developing countries government focus on capital city and build beautiful museums and theater for their ideological belief and show their imagination power and make seem the appearance of whole country appropriate nevertheless in countryside and villages people are dying because of sans of enough food and treatment also students specially girls cannot keep their study because there are any school in their city. So, I think the government should spend money on more important part of society than unhelpful effort to make city beautiful while citizens want their essential needs. After providing main important thing for habitants, we can go through build luxury impressive building for living or cultural and artistic events.
There are two opinions about constructions in a city,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
enormous impressive buildings are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for a city
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that money should
be spent
on improving school and hospitals in a city

In my opinion the
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is better,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their priority on citizen education and hygiene. It is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
professional hospital in every city even in remote part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
also
children in village can study for free

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
fantastic huge structure in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and attract tourism to earn money and promote our culture and traditions to the world, in condition that any children in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
do not deprive of their right of education and any sick person do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
of lack of medical service in whole country

In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
developing
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "countries'" or "country's"?
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
focus on capital city and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
museums and theater for their ideological belief and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their imagination power and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
seem the appearance of whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
appropriate
nevertheless
in countryside and villages
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are dying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of sans of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
food and treatment
also
students
specially
girls cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are any school in their city.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should spend money on more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
part of society than unhelpful effort to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
city
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
while citizens want their essential needs. After providing main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
thing for habitants, we can go through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
luxury impressive building for living or cultural and artistic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.
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IELTS essay enormous impressive buildings are important for a city but some people believe that money should be spent on improving school and hospitals in a city

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
248 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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