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There is an increasing amount of anti-social behaviors and lack of respect for others. What are the causes of this problem and what are your solutions?

There is an increasing amount of anti-social behaviors and lack of respect for others. What are the causes of this problem and what are your solutions? LLXnR
Nowadays, there are more and more bad behaviors rising, such as crime, isolation, impolite and so on. Many factors can lead to these actions and several methods can prevent these behaviors. There are two reasons why anti-social behaviors might form. Firstly, when people during young age who lacks of cultivation of values from their parents, they may do some bad to the society. As children can imitate actions from their parents, if there are no good demonstrations then children will be impacted as well, such as breaking the traffic rules and cutting the lines. Besides, citizens are under much pressure during work or study, competitions are existing everywhere, which lead to the relationship among people is very cold. That is why more and more people become selfish, less patient and impolite. What they concern is their own benefits and distrust of others. There are some solutions referring to these problems. Firstly, school should take the responsibility to teach students set up moral rights and social obligations. Because students spend more time on school and meet more people than at home, it is easier for them to form right behaviors with right instructions. Then, promote a diversified society so that everyone can find self-worth. By doing so, people can pay more attention to collaborate with others and share experiences together. In this way, people are willing to make friends and be honest with others. In a word, even bad behaviors can be made through incorrect guidance and the pressure of the society, there still exist methods to deal with them.
Nowadays, there are more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behaviors
rising, such as crime, isolation, impolite and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
factors can lead to these actions and several methods can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
these behaviors.

There are two reasons why anti-social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behaviors
might form.
Firstly
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
during young age who lacks of cultivation of values from their parents, they may do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
to the society. As children can imitate actions from their parents, if there are no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
demonstrations then children will
be impacted
as well
, such as breaking the traffic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and cutting the lines.
Besides
, citizens are under much pressure during work or study, competitions are existing everywhere, which lead to the relationship among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
.
That is
why more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become selfish, less patient and impolite. What they concern is their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits and distrust of others.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions referring to these problems.
Firstly
, school should take the responsibility to teach students set up moral rights and social obligations.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
students spend more time on school and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
than at home, it is easier for them to form right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behaviors
with right instructions. Then, promote a diversified society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that everyone can find self-worth. By doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can pay more attention to collaborate with others and share experiences together. In this way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are willing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends and be honest with others.

In a word, even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behaviors
can
be made
through incorrect guidance and the pressure of the society, there
still
exist methods to deal with them.
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IELTS essay There is an increasing amount of anti-social behaviors and lack of respect for others. What are the causes of this problem and what are your solutions?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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