Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Encouraging children to work at an early age is benificial fortheir education and understanding of the world. To what extand do you agree or disagree?

Encouraging children to work at an early age is benificial fortheir education and understanding of the world. To what extand aJ9W9
In these days, a lot of childeren are encouraged to work with the same time of study and some people believe that it helps to understand the world and their education. I slightly disagree with this opinion and I am going to explain it in this essay. On the one hand, there are some benificial ways to encourage children to work in their early age. Firstly, if they work now then namely, after 10 or 15 years, to find a job easy for them because they have been suffered from by hard works when they were a child and in the future they will adaption any type of work. Secondly, they will learn how to be patient and different challenges will not be hard for them. Finally, if they will work it helps for their family budget especially poor families. On the other hand, there are some disadventage ways to encourage childeren when they were child. Firstly, work may interrupt their study because if they study and work at the same time, they will achieve only one or half of both. Secondly, as a result of this, they may work always with this job and their interest for life may fall down. Finally, the main disadventage point of it that their health because in their early years childeren's muscules develop and if they do a lot of physical hard activities they may demage their health. To sum up, encouraging the childeren to work at early ages has disadventage ways rather than benificial ways.
In these days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Possible spelling mistake found.
childeren
are encouraged
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with the same time of study and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to understand the world and their education. I
slightly
disagree with this
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
opinion and
I am going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
it in this essay.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
benificial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to encourage children to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in their early age.
Firstly
, if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
then
namely
, after 10 or 15 years, to find a job easy for them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have
been suffered
from by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
works when they were a child and in the future they
The word 'adaption' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
will adaption
any type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Secondly
, they will learn how to be patient and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
challenges will not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for them.
Finally
, if they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
for their family budget
especially
poor families.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
disadventage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to encourage
Possible spelling mistake found.
childeren
when they were child.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
may interrupt their study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if they study and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at the same time, they will achieve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one or half of both.
Secondly
,
as a result
of this, they may
The adverb 'always' is usually put before the verb 'work'.
work always
with this job and their interest for life may fall down.
Finally
, the main
Possible spelling mistake found.
disadventage
point of it that their health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in their early years
Possible spelling mistake found.
childeren
's
Possible spelling mistake found.
muscules
develop and if they do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
physical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
activities they may
Possible spelling mistake found.
demage
their health.

To sum up, encouraging the
Possible spelling mistake found.
childeren
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at early ages has
Possible spelling mistake found.
disadventage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
rather
than
Possible spelling mistake found.
benificial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Encouraging children to work at an early age is benificial fortheir education and understanding of the world. To what extand

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5.5band
    advantages of disadvantages of travelling
    As tourism has been inexorably developing in recent years, it means that it is easy to take a journey. This essay will discuss the pros and cons of traveling. On the one hand, there are a number of significant drawbacks to traveling. Firstly, it can be quite costly, which means that a large amount ...
  • 5band
    Peope are unable to manage their balance of life. What are the reasons and soultion
    Without any qualms, technology has led tremendous transformations at every nook and corner, human are indulged themselves in divergent professional activities at present scenario which is prime cause of unbalance of human's life. This essay will deliberate not only the pertinent reasons but also rem...
  • 5band
    People should spend more time outdoors
    People should discover what is happening in the world. A lot of adventurers are now exploring different parts of the world by travel to other countries, and cultures as well. Many directors who are fond of wildlife create content for instance the discovery of the Atlantic ocean trying to find out wh...
  • 5band
    what will you do after graduation?
    I have a passion for teaching English. that's why I decided to apply for English teaching education major. after graduation, I will be looking for a job to pay my bill and also follow what I have been dreamt of -becoming an English teacher. these days, finding a job in this field in public school is...
  • 6band
    advantage and disadvantages of going online very often
    People increasingly have a tendency to spend most of their time on the internet. This essay will discuss the drawbacks and benefits of this trend. On the one hand, there are a number of major drawbacks when people spend too much time browsing the internet. The first drawback is that this trend has ...
  • 5band
    How people eat in my country
    Compared to the past, people in my country eat much better nowadays. In the past, people in my father's generation don't know other countries' cuisine. They only eat their traditional foods. Nowadays, the world is changing and people open their minds and try other countries' food. Being a developing...