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advantage and disadvantages of going online very often

advantage and disadvantages of going online very often 5L8RN
People increasingly have a tendency to spend most of their time on the internet. This essay will discuss the drawbacks and benefits of this trend. On the one hand, there are a number of major drawbacks when people spend too much time browsing the internet. The first drawback is that this trend has a detrimental impact on their health. People who devote a large amount of time to screen activities are more likely to suffer from various health issues such as eye strain, short-sightedness or obesity. Another negative effect is that online entertainment activities mean less time for other social activities and a lack of face - to- face interaction. People have a tendency to surf social networking sites such as Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube instead of hanging out with their friends. This would lead to social isolation, which seriously affects their later life. Furthermore, the use of the internet on a regular basis has an adverse influence on work performance. People who are addicted to the internet are a case in point. They may receive unexpected notifications from websites they normally access while working, which distracts them. On the other hand, accessing the site on a regular basis brings a wide range of benefits. Firstly, people who often surf the internet can update the latest trends and fashions in the modern world. For example, In the time of a Covid 19 pandemic, people may stay up to speed on the latest COVID situation in Vietnam and throughout the world by using online platforms. Secondly, this trend helps teenagers and learners enrich their knowledge and learn a wide range of skills. This is because they can access an unlimited amount of resources on the internet, the majority of which are free of charge. Spending a lot of time on the internet can provide job opportunities and earn a good amount of money for unemployed people. YouTubers, for instance, might make a lot of money by posting intriguing videos about their routine life, or writing blogs and writing tips for diet control, weight loss, yoga tips on their own channel. In conclusion, browsing online could bring about certain benefits, but its negative consequences should not be ignored. I personally believe that the advantages are outweighed by the drawbacks
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
increasingly
have a tendency to spend most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on the internet. This essay will discuss the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drawbacks
and benefits of this trend.

On the one hand, there are a number of major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drawbacks
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
browsing the internet. The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drawback
is that this trend has a detrimental impact on their health.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who devote a large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to screen activities are more likely to suffer from various health issues such as eye strain,
Possible spelling mistake found.
short-sightedness
or obesity. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect is that online entertainment activities mean less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for other social activities and
Possible agreement error. The noun face seems to be countable; consider using: "a lack of faces".
a lack of face
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
to- face interaction.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have a tendency to surf social networking sites such as Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
instead
of hanging out with their friends. This would lead to social isolation, which
seriously
affects their later life.
Furthermore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the internet on a regular basis has an adverse influence on work performance.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who
are addicted
to the internet are a case in point. They may receive unexpected notifications from websites they
normally
access while working, which distracts them.

On the other hand
, accessing the site on a regular basis brings a wide range of benefits.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
surf the internet can update the latest trends and fashions in the modern world.
For example
, In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of a
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
Covid 19
pandemic,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may stay up to speed on the latest
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
COVID
situation in Vietnam and throughout the world by using online platforms.
Secondly
, this trend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
and learners enrich their knowledge and learn a wide range of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can access an unlimited amount of resources on the internet, the majority of which are free of charge. Spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on the internet can provide job opportunities and earn a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
amount of money for unemployed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. YouTubers,
for instance
, might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money by posting intriguing videos about their routine life, or writing blogs and writing tips for diet control, weight loss, yoga tips on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
channel.

In conclusion
, browsing online could bring about certain benefits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
. I
personally
believe that the advantages
are outweighed
by the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
drawbacks
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IELTS essay advantage and disadvantages of going online very often

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
376 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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