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Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Occasionally, the management collects information about the candidate’s details, for example about their creative activities performed during leisure time and their marital status. These details are collected by all organizations during an appointment. I think that personal data is not necessarily required to perform a job, however, these details are significant to understand the job applicant’s personality and interests. Undoubtedly, personal information is not necessarily required to share with the employer. This argument is valid in certain situations where an employer may misuse personal data to discriminate against the applicant. For instance, an employer may reject the employee if the religion or political ideologies does not match with their own. Nevertheless, personal data is essential to interpret the applicant’s personality traits. This makes employer figure out their interests, leisure activities, creativity, that makes them identify their leadership skills or if they are suitable as a team player. In particular, If a candidate can handle a team of any activity that the candidate is interested in, then the employer can predict that he may be able to handle a small team in a project. Furthermore, an employer may benefit by knowing the potential employee’s marital status. To illustrate, If an employer needs an employee to stretch their work hours in a certain situation or work during weekends or holidays, It is not preferable to hire women having young children. Also, If the candidate is getting married soon, then chances are high to move to another place by leaving a job in near future. In conclusion, I believe that the applicant’s personal information is not helpful to perform job activities. On the other hand, these details are helpful to predict the skills of the candidate and his comfort level with the job.
Occasionally
, the management collects information about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidate’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
details
,
for example
about their creative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
performed during leisure time and their marital status. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
details
are collected
by all organizations during an appointment. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
data is not
necessarily
required to perform a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
,
however
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
details
are significant to understand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applicant’s
personality and interests.

Undoubtedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
information is not
necessarily
required to share with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
. This argument is valid in certain situations where an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
may misuse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
data to discriminate against the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applicant
.
For instance
, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
may reject the employee if the religion or political ideologies does not match with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.

Nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
data is essential to interpret the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applicant’s
personality traits. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
figure out their interests, leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, creativity, that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them identify their leadership
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
or if they are suitable as a team player.
In particular
, If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidate
can handle a team of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidate
is interested
in, then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
can predict that he may be able to handle a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
team in a project.

Furthermore
, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
may benefit by knowing the potential employee’s marital status. To illustrate, If an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
needs an employee to stretch their work hours in a certain situation or work during weekends or holidays, It is not preferable to hire women having young children.
Also
, If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidate
is getting married
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
, then chances are high to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to another place by leaving a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in near future.

In conclusion
, I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applicant’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
information is not helpful to perform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
On the other hand
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
details
are helpful to predict the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidate
and his comfort level with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
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IELTS essay Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
290 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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