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Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. 83Xr
Most of the emplyees get asked by the employer for some personal information such as their hobbies, interests, and whether they are married or not while the hiring process or during their emplyment time. A number of people find this inappropriate yet many say that it may be relevant and useful. In my opinion, it is completely fine as such information helps an organization either to organize events or to understand how an employee is doing in extra curricular activities. To commence with, some people feel insecure when they are requested to provide personal information stating about their marital status or interests. A group of people have a mentality of keeping their personal and professional life separate. Furthermore, they find request of such information as a risk to their privacy, and suspect that the information collected by an employer can be misused by any means. For example, hackers hacked into a database of a british IT company and the family information of the emplyees was compromised. On the other hand, Organizations ask for the information because they can get an idea about how the emplyee is doing in extra curricular activities. Firstly, information about marital status and a marital partner can be extremely helpful in case of an emergency. Secondly, asking for such information is very common and companies are in legal right to ask for it. Furthermore, the collection of information about interests and hobbies helps a firm to orgaize any events that can ensure recreational time to the emplyees. For instance, Caterpillar Inc, arrange plenty of recreational events during the summer time so workers can have a good time while meeting the work goals at the same time. It would be easier for Caterpillar to make the events happen if they have a rough idea about what activies are in emplyee’s interest. In conclusion, even though people are not in favor of handing over the personal information to the employer, I believe organizations can deal with events and emergencies better if they are given the personal information by the emplyees. Not to mention, the incidents of data hacking are decreasing as companies are getting better at protecting empyee’s data.
Most of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
emplyees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
asked by the employer for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
such as their hobbies, interests, and whether they
are married
or not while the hiring process or during their
Possible spelling mistake found.
emplyment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. A number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find this inappropriate
yet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
say that it may be relevant and useful. In my opinion, it is completely fine as such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
an organization either to organize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
or to understand how an employee is doing in
This word is normally spelled as one.
extra curricular
activities.

To commence with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel insecure when they
are requested
to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
stating about their marital status or interests. A group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a mentality of keeping their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
and professional life separate.
Furthermore
, they find request of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
to their privacy, and suspect that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
collected by an employer can
be misused
by any means.
For example
, hackers hacked into a database of a
Possible spelling mistake found.
british
IT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and the family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
emplyees
was compromised
.

On the other hand
, Organizations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about how the
Possible spelling mistake found.
emplyee
is doing in
This word is normally spelled as one.
extra curricular
activities.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about marital status and a marital partner can be
extremely
helpful in case of an emergency.
Secondly
, asking for such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are in legal right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
it.
Furthermore
, the collection of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about interests and hobbies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
a firm to
Possible spelling mistake found.
orgaize
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
that can ensure recreational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
emplyees
.
For instance
, Caterpillar Inc, arrange
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of recreational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
during the summer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
workers can have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
while meeting the work goals at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. It would be easier for Caterpillar to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
happen if they have a rough
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about what
Possible spelling mistake found.
activies
are in
Possible spelling mistake found.
emplyee
’s interest.

In conclusion
,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not in favor of handing over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
to the employer, I believe organizations can deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
and emergencies better if they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
by the
Possible spelling mistake found.
emplyees
. Not to mention, the incidents of data hacking are decreasing as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are getting better at protecting
Possible spelling mistake found.
empyee
’s data.
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IELTS essay Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
361 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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