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Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests MMQl6
Sharing personal information with employers on hobbies and marital status sometimes puts the employees in a tough spot. Although, such additional knowledge helps to bring in more transparency and openness, some people do not find this information sharing useful. Both views will be discussed in the forthcoming paragraphs. Some employers prefer working with like minded people and hence are seeking employees with whom they can talk and share views apart from work. The underlying thought is that an understanding of someone’s interests and leisure time activities helps to build a better understanding of what drives them and keeps them motivated. A recent study indicated that satisfied employees working for the same organization for more than 5 years had been very open talking about their hobbies and tend to enjoy coming to office. Another school of thought is that employees are hired to do the work as required by the role and there is no room for personal interests and background details in such a professional setup. Some people might not be comfortable sharing details outside of education and experience as it might lead to social labelling or unnecessary interference by the employer or by colleagues at the office. For example, many women prefer not to mention their marital status to avoid giving an impression that family responsibilities might be a hinderance in their job. In conclusion, I believe it is fair to ask for personal information about potential employees where they need to be more creative and work as a team. This helps them to settle in quickly in the role and get comfortable with the company culture. At the same time, it is a personal choice of the employee whether to disclose or not and how much information to share.
Sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
with employers on hobbies and marital status
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
puts the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
in a tough spot. Although, such additional knowledge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to bring in more transparency and openness,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not find this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
sharing useful. Both views will
be discussed
in the forthcoming paragraphs.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
employers prefer working with
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
like minded
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
hence
are seeking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
with whom they can talk and share views apart from work. The underlying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
is that an understanding of someone’s interests and leisure time activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to build a better understanding of what drives them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
them motivated. A recent study indicated that satisfied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
working for the same organization for more than 5 years had been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
open talking about their hobbies and tend to enjoy coming to office.

Another school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are hired
to do the work as required by the role and there is no room for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
interests and background
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
in such a professional setup.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might not be comfortable sharing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
outside of education and experience as it might lead to social labelling or unnecessary interference by the employer or by colleagues at the office.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
women prefer not to mention their marital status to avoid giving an impression that family responsibilities might be a
Possible spelling mistake found.
hinderance
in their job.

In conclusion
, I believe it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about potential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
where they need to be more creative and work as a team. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to settle in
quickly
in the role and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
comfortable with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
culture. At the same time, it is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
choice of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
whether to disclose or not and how much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
to share.
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IELTS essay Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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