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Smoking can cause serious illness and should be made illegal.to what extent do you agree?

Smoking can cause serious illness and should be made illegal. YL63j
In this contemporary era, smoking become a serious issue. However, I completely Advocate with the given notation, which will be proved further in the upcoming paragraphs. First and foremost reasons to advocate with this notation is that cigarette contains a lot of chemicals which is harmful for human body. Too much smoking can cause of several dangerous diseases such as cancer, mental disorder, heart disease, stroke and so on. A chain smoker faced numerous problems and one of the biggest problem what they faced in there daily life that they keep struggling to maintain healthy life style. Moreover, in many cases every smoker suffer from cancer huge is one of the huge impact of smoking. Second reason to agree with this view is that, cigarette the only product which have not any beneficial side for human body. By consume that individual only can distroy their life. However, many countries band cigarette to rescue their young generations from destroying their lives by smoking excessive cigarette. In export and import business of cigarette many countries extend the text level so that massive people could not avail to purchase cigarette. For instance, Turkey government take such step to reduce the number of somker. Beside that Saudi government declear smoking as a illegal and take some steps to control this issue. To sum up, it seems to me that smoking is the dangerous and it has abundant bad effect for a human which causes serious disorder. In addition, necessary steps have to taken by governments to prevent this and have to be declare smoking as illegal to rescue further generation.
In this contemporary era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
become a serious issue.
However
, I completely Advocate with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
notation, which will
be proved
further
in the upcoming paragraphs.
First
and foremost reasons to advocate with this notation is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarette
contains
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
chemicals which is harmful for human body. Too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
can cause of several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
diseases such as cancer, mental disorder, heart disease, stroke and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. A chain smoker faced numerous problems and one of the biggest problem what they faced in
Did you mean "their"?
there
daily life that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
struggling to maintain healthy life style.
Moreover
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases every smoker suffer from cancer huge is one of the huge impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
. Second reason to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view is that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarette
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
product which have not any beneficial side for human body. By consume that individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can
Possible spelling mistake found.
distroy
their life.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries band
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarette
to rescue their young generations from destroying their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
excessive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarette
. In export and import business of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarette
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries extend the text level
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that massive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
could not avail to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarette
.
For instance
, Turkey
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
take such step to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of
Possible spelling mistake found.
somker
. Beside that Saudi
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
Possible spelling mistake found.
declear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
as
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
illegal and take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
steps to control this issue. To sum up, it seems to me that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
and it has abundant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effect for a human which causes serious disorder.
In addition
, necessary steps
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
taken by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
this and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be
Consider using a past participle here: "declared".
declare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
as illegal to rescue
further
generation.
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IELTS essay Smoking can cause serious illness and should be made illegal.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
266 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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