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Employers Sometimes Ask People Applying For Jobs For Personal Information

Employers Sometimes Ask People Applying For Jobs For Personal Information 665Oj
Personal information gives someone’s value to the community especially in the matter of job field. Many employers want to know employees personal things such as their hobbies, interests and are sometimes also eager to know whether people are married or single during the time of job application. Some people opine that it needs to know the personal information for the organisation and the managers which helps them to ensure for choosing the right person but others think that it may impact their personal life. In this essay, I will explain, both views as well also will give my own opinion. On the one hand, many corporate jobs such as industrialised work, IT sector, Media need employers who have some kind of extracurricular activities besides their study which make them more smart and creative. For example, some people love to learn an additional language along with their mother tongue which promotes them to enrol superior position in the company within the crowds. On the other hand, some people have thought that knowing their personal information will impact their carrier. Some companies have less interest to give offer letters to those who are married, therefore, this makes negative effects on married people. For example, some of the consultancy firms have requirements whether they have mentioned only single people can be applied, thus the married person has no chance to apply in the job. Though it is true that, some people have complained about the given their personal information, on the contrary, personal information, I would say is crucial for the organisation that will let them know the employers they have chosen will be beneficial for their company.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
gives someone’s value to the community
especially
in the matter of job field.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
employers want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
things such as their hobbies, interests and are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
also
eager to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are married
or single during the time of job application.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that it needs to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
for the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
and the managers which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to ensure for choosing the right person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it may impact their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
life. In this essay, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
, both views
as well
also
will give my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
corporate jobs such as
Possible spelling mistake. 'industrialised' is British English.
industrialised
work, IT sector, Media need employers who have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of extracurricular activities
besides
their study which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more smart and creative.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to learn an additional language along with their mother tongue which promotes them to enrol superior position in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
within the crowds.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that knowing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
will impact their carrier.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have less interest to give offer letters to those who
are married
,
therefore
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
consultancy firms have requirements whether they have mentioned
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
be applied
,
thus
the married person has no chance to apply in the job.

Though it is true that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have complained about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
,
on the contrary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
, I would say is crucial for the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
the employers they have chosen will be beneficial for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
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IELTS essay Employers Sometimes Ask People Applying For Jobs For Personal Information

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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