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Employers should give their workers at least 1month holiday a year as it make them to do better at work

Employers should give their workers at least 1month holiday a year as it make them to do better at work lLJ9W
Employers of labour are encouraged to give their workers a minimum of 4weeks holiday in a year which can improve productivity. The importance of leave for staff at least once a year will be beneficial to them as it will give them time off to relax and reenergize, thereby increasing productivity, improve efficiency and reduce sick leave, also putting into account that companies that do not grant their members leave will have disgruntled staff, unmotivated staff and unnecessary leave request. I believe employees are entitled to holiday of minimum 1month. The advantages of leave for a worker who has worked 1year is important. However for employees that work with 1month vacation, it will increase efficiency in the quality of their output, It will increase productivity because they staffs will be motivated, also it will give employees time off to take care of their health thereby redusing workers sick days. However for anyone to work 365days without a break, it will result to burnout because the human body has its limit, it can result in low staff turnover because workers will want to work in favourable environment with good work ethics and practice where leave is not an issue, it can also encourage staff in slacking on their job. Overall the benefits of 1month leave for employees will have a positive impact in the lives of an employee and the after effect in the organization.
Employers of
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
are encouraged
to give their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
a minimum of 4weeks holiday in a year which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
productivity. The importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
at least once a year will be beneficial to them as it will give them time off to relax and
Possible spelling mistake found.
reenergize
, thereby increasing productivity,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
efficiency and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
sick
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
,
also
putting into account that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
that do not grant their members
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
will have disgruntled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
, unmotivated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
and unnecessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
request. I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are entitled
to holiday of minimum 1month.

The advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker
who has worked 1year is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with 1month vacation, it will increase efficiency in the quality of their output, It will increase productivity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "staff"
staffs
will
be motivated
,
also
it will give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
time off to take care of their health thereby
Possible spelling mistake found.
redusing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
sick days.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
for anyone to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
365days without a break, it will result to burnout
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the human body has its limit, it can result in low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
turnover
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
will want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
environment with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
ethics and practice where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
is not an issue, it can
also
encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
in slacking on their job.

Overall
the benefits of 1month
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
will have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
and the after effect in the organization.
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IELTS essay Employers should give their workers at least 1month holiday a year as it make them to do better at work

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
234 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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