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Employers should focus on personal qualities over qualifications and experience when choosing someone for a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Employers should focus on personal qualities over qualifications and experience when choosing someone for a job. with this statement? pRRd3
In this run-of-the-mill life nowadays, where every person is competing to run his routine well, the means of employment is very important for leading a good life. It is believed that employers should concentrate on every person's internal skills and experience in life while providing employment. I do accord that the task ought to be given according to the merit of every human being, while the importance of education cannot be denied. First of all, there is no denying that a person's intuition and ability to do something makes him much better than others. Many industrial centers, especially those who provide employment on the basis of their employees' ability to do something and their knowledgeability. For example, Tata Motors, one of the leading industrial centers of India, indulges themselves in recruitment procedures, keeping in mind the abilities and experience in automobiles of the workers. As a result, these employees, with their full worth and skills, lead the company's way to the top. Despite this, there can be no doubt that an educated person has a different identity. Along with good knowledge and experience, it is also mandatory for a person to have a certificate of education, due to which he is able to present his knowledge in writing to his employer with the help of his education documents in writing. For example, Tata Consultancy Services, a company in India that has achieved complete success, requires a person to have an educated certificate for a job, which is seen as proof of education and after giving job, these documents are copied and kept by the company. Finally, on the basis of these facts, it can be concluded that irrespective of the high knowledge of a person, he has a written proof of knowledge along with knowledge is essential to achieve a good job in life.
In this run-of-the-mill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
nowadays, where every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is competing to run his routine well, the means of employment is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for leading a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. It
is believed
that employers should concentrate on every person's internal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and experience in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
while providing employment. I do accord that the task ought to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
according to the merit of every human being, while the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
cannot
be denied
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, there is no denying that a person's intuition and ability to do something
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
him much better than others.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
industrial centers,
especially
those who provide employment on the basis of their employees' ability to do something and their
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowledgeability
.
For example
, Tata Motors, one of the leading industrial centers of India, indulges themselves in recruitment procedures, keeping in mind the abilities and experience in automobiles of the workers.
As a result
, these employees, with their full worth and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, lead the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's way to the top.

Despite this, there can be no doubt that an educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
identity. Along with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and experience, it is
also
mandatory for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to have a certificate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, due to which he is able to present his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in writing to his employer with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
documents in writing.
For example
, Tata Consultancy Services, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
in India that has achieved complete success, requires a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to have an educated certificate for a job, which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as proof of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and after giving job, these documents
are copied
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

Finally
, on the basis of these facts, it can
be concluded
that irrespective of the high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
, he has a written proof of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
is essential to achieve a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay Employers should focus on personal qualities over qualifications and experience when choosing someone for a job. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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