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employees versus employers

employees versus employers BJkxw
In the developing World, how worker’s efficiency can be enhanced more is being thought by employers. According to some, a way thought to realize is related to providing employees subsidised membership which are gyms and sports clubs. As opposed to this, others do not approve of this argument. This essay will discuss and evaluate both view aspects clearly and then consider what my point of view outweigh. On the one hand, there is no doubt that the level of proficiency in work is related to feeling delightful and less stressed. Moreover, offering membership not only help feeling good but also it may bring into open a more clear mind and being creative, is because it is in relevant to have better health. Moreover, employees worked under the auspices of an establishment may think more valuable themselves because of employers’ attitude to them. So that, this case might lead to that they can attach more importance to their work, providing that they are more productive and effective. On the other hand, as these kinds of membership cause a cost for companies, this investment may be used a different way like presenting perks and funds to employees. In addition, their needs may be having more income and their ineffectiveness' ıssue may lie in their insufficient budget to maintain their life. For instance, if a person having financial difficulty and struggling with compelling live conditions takes more income from employers, this case would lead him to more concentrated and focused to work, when working. To sum up, it might be said that the thought of serving a membership service to employees in order to make them more effective at work become has a double-edged sword: some people advocate this argument because of providing that there would support feeling better mentally and sense, whereas others refuse this opinion due to a thing that financial difficulties have a more substantial place. When came my opinion about the subject is that both opinions are logical but the second view outweighs more.
In the developing World, how worker’s efficiency can
be enhanced
more is being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by employers. According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
, a way
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to realize
is related
to providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
Possible spelling mistake. 'subsidised' is British English.
subsidised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
membership
which are gyms and sports clubs. As opposed to this, others do not approve of this argument. This essay will discuss and evaluate both view aspects
clearly
and then consider what my point of view outweigh.

On the one hand, there is no doubt that the level of proficiency in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is related
to feeling delightful and less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
.
Moreover
, offering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
membership
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
The verb 'help' is used with an infinitive: "to feel" or "feel".
feeling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it may bring into open a more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
mind and being creative, is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is in relevant to have better health.
Two successive sentences begin with the same adverb. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
worked under the auspices of an establishment may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
more valuable themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of employers’ attitude to them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that, this case might lead to that they can attach more importance to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, providing that they are more productive and effective.

On the other hand
, as these kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
membership
cause a cost for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, this investment may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
way like presenting perks and funds to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
.
In addition
, their needs may be having more income and their ineffectiveness'
Possible spelling mistake found.
ıssue
may lie in their insufficient budget to maintain their life.
For instance
, if a person having financial difficulty and struggling with compelling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
conditions takes more income from employers, this case would lead him to more concentrated and focused to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, when working.

To sum up, it might
be said
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of serving a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
membership
service to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more effective at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
become has a double-edged sword:
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
advocate this argument
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of providing that there would support feeling better mentally and sense, whereas others refuse this opinion due to a thing that financial difficulties have a more substantial place. When came my opinion about the subject is that both opinions are logical
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the second view outweighs more.
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IELTS essay employees versus employers

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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