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The study of the century old dramas and plays by pupils in their student career is beneficial for understanding human development v.1

The study of the century old dramas and plays by pupils in their student career is beneficial for understanding human development v. 1
Some argue that pupils who reach the topmost ranks in examinations should be honoured while, others say that it is more imperative to admire the students who show positive progression in their performances. I personally agree with the former notion because rewarding the best results opens more opportunities for students to flourish their capabilities even though commending pupils who acquire some degree of improvement encourages to work hard. To begin with, most of the children are motivated to perform better when their improvements get a better recognition. In fact, such rewards generate a positive attitude and an incentive in the majority of students who are at low level to augment their dedication to work hard. For an example, granting commended reports to children who show positive progression in their academic performance in the primary schools of Sri Lanka has resulted a decline in the rate of exam failure among children during recent past. However, my personal perspective is that rewarding the pupils who merely show improvement is not fair by the students who achieve the best outcome. On the other hand, students who acquire the top results in examinations need to be honoured for their dedication, hard work and brilliantly. Moreover, highlighting unique talents through rewarding, allows students to receive more opportunities in the future to utilize their capabilities. For an instance, students who win the gold medals for their performance in the final examination of universities in the UK are offered to join with the academic staff of respective faculties. Hence, I agree with this notion because commending the best performance is reasonable and justifiable. In conclusion, admiring pupils who show improvement in the education promotes them to work hard. Nevertheless, it is more crucial to reward the students who do best in order to bring recognition to their excellence and opportunities to their capabilities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
reach the topmost ranks in examinations should be
Possible spelling mistake. 'honoured' is British English.
honoured
while, others say that it is more imperative to admire the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
progression in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performances
. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the former notion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
rewarding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
results opens more opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to flourish their capabilities
even though
commending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
acquire
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
degree of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improvement
encourages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, most of the children
are motivated
to perform better when their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improvements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better recognition. In fact, such rewards generate a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
attitude and an incentive in the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are at low level to augment their dedication to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
. For an example, granting commended reports to children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
progression in their academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performance
in the primary schools of Sri Lanka has resulted a decline in the rate of exam failure among children during recent past.
However
, my personal perspective is that rewarding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
merely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improvement
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
achieve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
outcome.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
acquire the top results in examinations need to be
Possible spelling mistake. 'honoured' is British English.
honoured
for their dedication,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
brilliantly
.
Moreover
, highlighting unique talents through rewarding,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to receive more opportunities in the future to utilize their capabilities. For an instance,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
win the gold medals for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performance
in the final examination of universities in the UK
are offered
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
with the academic staff of respective faculties.
Hence
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
commending the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performance
is reasonable and justifiable.

In conclusion
, admiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improvement
in the education promotes them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
.
Nevertheless
, it is more crucial to reward the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
in order to bring recognition to their excellence and opportunities to their capabilities.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The study of the century old dramas and plays by pupils in their student career is beneficial for understanding human development v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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