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Education used to be a short period of training, but today, people treat it like a lifelong practice. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Education used to be a short period of training, but today, people treat it like a lifelong practice. v. 1
It has been said that life is like riding a bicycle, to keep your balance you must keep moving. Similarly, I strongly believe that everybody should constantly collect essential knowledge and skills not only in times at schools but also in every moment of the lifetime. It is obvious that the world is changing rapidly, which necessitates citizens altering to quickly adapt to any circumstances arising. Sometimes, what individuals have been provided in educational institutions might be inadequate or outdated, so taking extra training courses or updating knowledge on their own initiative is of great importance in enhancing their competencies. Besides, there may be a number of unexpected events occurring anytime in our lives and each can expose a different problem. This, inevitably, demands people to amass information to address the issues. Subsequently, it is necessary to continuously broaden the scope of understanding regardless of age. Furthermore, recent research has shown that the act of regularly studying helps foster the brain and therefore can reduce the risk of suffering from several brain diseases such as Alzheimer, losing memory temporarily. On the contrary, if one ceases accumulating up-to-date knowledge, he or she may be left far behind as someday his or her grasp will be obsolete. In summary, it is never too old to learn and learning is never superfluous. The more we study, the quicker for us to keep pace with the increasing massive development of the world today. Ultimately, everything humans have been achieving so far stems from the learning day by day from the primitive age.
It has
been said
that life is like riding a bicycle, to
keep
your balance you
must
keep
moving.
Similarly
, I
strongly
believe that everybody should
constantly
collect essential knowledge and
skills
not
only
in times at schools
but
also
in every moment of the lifetime.

It is obvious that the world is changing
rapidly
, which necessitates citizens altering to
quickly
adapt to any circumstances arising.
Sometimes
, what individuals have
been provided
in educational institutions might be inadequate or outdated,
so
taking extra training courses or updating knowledge on their
own
initiative is of great importance in enhancing their competencies.
Besides
, there may be a number of unexpected
events
occurring anytime in our
lives
and each can expose a
different
problem. This,
inevitably
, demands
people
to amass information to address the issues.
Subsequently
, it is necessary to
continuously
broaden the scope of understanding regardless of age.

Furthermore
, recent research has shown that the act of
regularly
studying
helps
foster the brain and
therefore
can
reduce
the
risk
of suffering from several brain diseases such as Alzheimer, losing memory
temporarily
.
On the contrary
, if one ceases accumulating up-to-date knowledge, he or she may be
left
far behind as someday
his or her
grasp will be obsolete.

In summary, it is never too
old
to learn and learning is never superfluous. The more we study, the quicker for us to
keep
pace with the increasing massive development of the world
today
.
Ultimately
, everything humans have been achieving
so
far stems from the learning day by day from the primitive age.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Education used to be a short period of training, but today, people treat it like a lifelong practice. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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