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Education time period in the school do you agree?

Education time period in the school do you agree? O6Gx3
Education is one of the fundamental right of each and every child should receive as well as parenting is necessary during the young ages. On the contrary parenting should not be a barrier for the education at the early stages of schooling. Kids have to be trained from the early stages when, their mindset is ready to make mistakes and correct them. Staying long in school as a teenager will not help a lot to gain knowledge. Those who believe long schooling for teenagers are not right. On the one hand, young kids between the age of 5 and 6 require more care and attention that does not mean to keep them in home and start late at school. Whenever, we begin early education they will be soon exposed to learn new things which help to mold character. It is being said that what we learn at the young ages are followed throughout our life. So, we have to provide knowledge from the beginning itself to have a disciplined life. Moreover, at the young age it is ok to make mistakes and learn again on the contrary, when we move to teenager many fails to correct themselves. On the other hand, staying long in school at the age 17 and 18 will not do good for the teenagers life whereas, this will only ruin their future. One who complete the schooling can move forward with university studies and achieve job a fast as possible and be settled. Thus, help in families income and also gift parents early retirement life.
Education is one of the fundamental right of each and every child should receive
as well
as parenting is necessary during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
.
On the contrary
parenting should not be a barrier for the education at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
stages of schooling. Kids
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be trained
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
stages when, their mindset is ready to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
mistakes and correct them. Staying long in school as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenager
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a lot to gain knowledge. Those who believe long schooling for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
are not right.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
kids between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 5 and 6 require more care and attention that does not mean to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them in home and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
late at school.
“Whenever” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whenever
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
education they will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
exposed to learn new things which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to mold character. It is
being said
that what we learn at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
are followed
throughout our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
provide knowledge from the beginning itself to have a disciplined
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Moreover
, at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
it is ok to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
mistakes and learn again
on the contrary
, when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenager
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fails to correct themselves.

On the other hand
, staying long in school at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
17 and 18 will not do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "teenagers'" or "teenager's"?
teenagers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
whereas, this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
ruin their future. One who complete the schooling can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
forward with university studies and achieve job a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
as possible and
be settled
.
Thus
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in families income and
also
gift parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay Education time period in the school do you agree?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
259 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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