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People today are often too busy with their lives. Children are busy studying and parents are busy working. so they don't have time for each other. and the family will gradually grow further apart

People today are often too busy with their lives. Children are busy studying and parents are busy working. so they don't have time for each other. and the family will gradually grow further apart DVaJ6
In recent decades, there has been a trend for families to become less attached than they once were, and this status is widely accepted in society. The reasons for this will be discussed in this essay. Firstly, one of the most common reasons is the development of technology. People are glued to the screen of mobile phone at every time in every place. They are also more interested in talking with their friends on social media than they are in communicating with their family. As a result, families are not quite as intimate as they've ever been. Secondly, generation gap is also a popular issues. The generation gap originates from a variety of troubles. It can be viewed from different perspectives like changes in language usage, working style and even fashion. For example, in the past it was assumed that boys had to have short hair and girls had to have long hair. On the contrary, nowadays, both boys and girls can have the hairstyle they want. Thus, multi-generational families are prone to conflicts. Finally, hectic life is also a huge matter. In this day and age, people usually busy with their life. Hence, it might get difficult to take out time for there near and dear ones. today are often too busy with their lives. Children are busy studying and parents are busy working. so they don't have time for each other. and the family will gradually grow further apart
In recent decades, there has been a trend for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
to become less attached than they once were, and this status is
widely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
in society. The reasons for this will
be discussed
in this essay.

Firstly
, one of the most common reasons is the development of technology.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are glued
to the screen of mobile phone at every time in every place. They are
also
more interested in talking with their friends on social media than they are in communicating with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are not quite as intimate as they've ever been.

Secondly
, generation gap is
also
a popular issues. The generation gap originates from a variety of troubles. It can
be viewed
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspectives like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in language usage, working style and even fashion.
For example
, in the past it
was assumed
that boys had to have short hair and girls had to have long hair.
On the contrary
, nowadays, both boys and girls can have the hairstyle they want.
Thus
, multi-generational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are prone to conflicts.

Finally
, hectic life is
also
a huge matter. In this day and age,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
usually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
busy
with their life.
Hence
, it might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
difficult to take out time for there near and dear ones.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
today
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
busy
with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Children are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
busy
studying and parents are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
busy
working.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
they don't have time for each other.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
will
gradually
grow
further
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
apart
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IELTS essay People today are often too busy with their lives. Children are busy studying and parents are busy working. so they don't have time for each other. and the family will gradually grow further apart

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
240 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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