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education has been a heated debate among educationalists

education has been a heated debate among educationalists 5BA8B
Over the last few decades, education has been a heated debate among educationalists. While some claim that tertiary education students should only stick to practical subjects like science or technology, others advocate for students’ freedom when selecting their subjects. Despite some advantages of obligating students to choose fixed topics, I believe they should have the liberty to pick their favored curriculums. Allowing university students to opt for practical subjects associating with science and technology can, indeed, have specific benefits to students and the nation’s future. Suppose students are comprehensively provided with thorough knowledge of a particular area of expertise. In that case, they are more likely to be given more career opportunities and eventually occupation progression, which helps them be located higher in the societal level. Besides, due to urging needs in science and technology fields to globalize with other nations, students in these branches of study could eventually become the pioneers that lead their country to mass globalization, contributing to the nations’ prosperity and social welfare. Therefore, it is understandable why some people support a predefined syllabus, especially subjects related to science and technology. However, I believe liberty in picking one’s subjects would be of a greater idea. In terms of productivity, students who can choose their curriculum tend to be more motivated and inspired with their favored subjects, making them hardworking and persistent. Those who are given fixed subjects, on the other hand, are more likely to come across stress and anxiety if such areas of science and technology are not their desired fields, making them vulnerable to a sense of inferiority or even dropping out. In addition, university students who choose their subjects by their will could contribute to the diversity of employees in their future, which is crucial for the comprehensive development of society. Given most students’ areas of expertise are related to science and technology, the occupations associating with these fields might be overloaded, resulting in a higher unemployment rate which strains society growth. In conclusion, while there are undeniable advantages of obligating university students to study in particular fields, I believe students should have freedom of picking their subjects for greater productivity and contribution to social development.
Over the last few decades, education has been a heated debate among educationalists. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
claim that tertiary education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
stick to practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, others advocate for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
freedom when selecting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. Despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages of obligating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to choose
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
topics, I believe they should have the liberty to pick their favored curriculums.

Allowing university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to opt for practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
associating with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can,
indeed
, have specific benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and the nation’s future. Suppose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
comprehensively
provided with thorough knowledge of a particular area of expertise.
In that case
, they are more likely to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
more career opportunities and
eventually
occupation progression, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them
be located
 higher in the societal level.
Besides
, due to urging needs in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
to globalize with other nations,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in these branches of study could
eventually
become the pioneers that lead their country to mass globalization, contributing to the nations’ prosperity and social welfare.
Therefore
, it is understandable why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
support a predefined syllabus,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and technology.

However
, I believe liberty in picking one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
would be of a greater
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. In terms of productivity,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who can choose their curriculum tend to be more motivated and
If 'inspired with' is passive voice, use "inspired by".
inspired with
their favored subjects, making them hardworking and persistent. Those who are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
,
on the other hand
, are more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and anxiety if such areas of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
are not their desired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
, making them vulnerable to a sense of inferiority or even dropping out.
In addition
, university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who choose their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
by their will could contribute to the diversity of employees in their future, which is crucial for the comprehensive development of society.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
areas of expertise
are related
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, the occupations associating with these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
might
be overloaded
, resulting in a higher unemployment rate which strains society growth.

In conclusion
, while there are undeniable advantages of obligating university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to study 
in particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should have freedom of picking their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
for greater productivity and contribution to social development.
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IELTS essay education has been a heated debate among educationalists

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
355 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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