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Education, from preschool through university, should be paid for by the government and therefore free to students. v.2

Education, from preschool through university, should be paid for by the government and therefore free to students. v. 2
Education is an essential part in the growth of a human being. It has always been a highly debatable issue that whether government should fund for the education of students or it should be taken care by an individual. I somewhat agree that education from kindergarten through university should be paid for by the administration. Some people in any country are financially capable and can afford for the study of their kids till post graduation. However, some people are also below the poverty line and cannot pay for their basic schooling and higher studies. Therefore, if authorities do not contribute in teaching of these students either by providing scholarships or free education then, this will lead many problems. Firstly, it will rise illiteracy rate. Secondly, due to lack of education, crime rate will increase. Finally, it will affect the economy of the country as many people will not be able to contribute to it. The Administration is taking high steps in my country to give free basic school education, uniform and midday meal to every student. This way it helps kids whose parents are financially incapable. Moreover, authorities are also assisting talented students to complete graduation and post graduation by providing scholarships. However, only free schooling is provided by the authorities. Government do not fund for the graduation and post graduation of students. In my view, government should provide free education from preschool through college to the unfortunate ones only. Lucky ones, who can afford education by themselves should not be given free education. To conclude, I believe that education is the right of every human being. Therefore, It should be provided by the authorities to the ones who are not capable to get by their own.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
is an essential part in the growth of a human being. It has always been a
highly
debatable issue that whether
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should fund for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
or it should
be taken
care by an individual. I somewhat
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
from kindergarten through university should
be paid
for by the administration.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in any country are
financially
capable and can afford for the study of their kids till post
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduation
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
also
below the poverty line and cannot pay for their basic schooling and higher studies.
Therefore
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authorities
do not contribute in teaching of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
either by providing scholarships or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
then, this will lead
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems.
Firstly
, it will rise illiteracy rate.
Secondly
, due to lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, crime rate will increase.
Finally
, it will affect the economy of the country as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will not be able to contribute to it.

The Administration is taking high steps in my country to give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
basic school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, uniform and midday meal to every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
. This way it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
kids whose parents are
financially
incapable.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authorities
are
also
assisting talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to complete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduation
and post
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduation
by providing scholarships.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
schooling
is provided
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authorities
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
do not fund for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduation
and post
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduation
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. In my view,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
from preschool through college to the unfortunate ones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. Lucky ones, who can afford
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
by themselves should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
education.

To conclude
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is the right of every human being.
Therefore
, It should
be provided
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authorities
to the ones who are not capable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Education, from preschool through university, should be paid for by the government and therefore free to students. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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