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Nowadays culture is much the same all around the world when compared to previous times. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? v.1

Nowadays culture is much the same all around the world when compared to previous times. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? v. 1
People identify themselves with various aspects like culture, language, history and others. These days, every part of the globe has almost the same culture which was not the case in the past. Although it is a constructive phenomenon, I believe that it is undesirable because of the reasons explained in the essay. One major advantage of following same culture worldwide is that equality prevails. In the older times, people were discriminated based on dressing style, caste, religion, nationality and creed whereas now with the same culture these distinctions are slowly diminishing and therefore, this change should be welcomed. For example, in the 1950’s when the Indians went to Australia for colleges, they were treated disrespectfully because of their traditional clothes, but at the present time, almost all students around the world wears jeans and t-shirt for universities and there is no way to make fun of anyone based on their attire. Hence, an uniformity is observed with the similar culture. On the other hand, if the same culture gains popularity, the indigenous individual traditions will be lost. The young people of today wishes to have wedding parties in churches like the western countries which mean that they are gradually discontinuing their own rich customs with great meanings and consequently, these customs disappear from the face of the earth over time. For instance, Hindu weddings are usually composed of series of steps that makes a pact with the natural forces of the world for the well being of the couple. This is now largely abandoned because it is not the style followed in the rest of the nations. Thus, the customs will be destroyed when the current trend continues. In Conclusion, despite of the fact that inequality will not exists with single culture, I am of opinion that the local customs will die out which have significant meaning for its practice.
People
identify themselves with various aspects like
culture
, language, history
and others
. These days, every part of the globe has almost the same
culture
which was not the case in the past. Although it is a constructive phenomenon, I believe that it is undesirable
because
of the reasons
explained
in the essay.

One major advantage of following same
culture
worldwide is that equality prevails. In the older times,
people
were discriminated
based on dressing style, caste, religion, nationality and creed whereas
now
with the same
culture
these distinctions are
slowly
diminishing and
therefore
, this
change
should
be welcomed
.
For example
, in the
1950’s
when the Indians went to Australia for colleges, they
were treated
disrespectfully
because
of their traditional clothes,
but
at the present time, almost all students around the world wears jeans and t-shirt for universities and there is no way to
make
fun of anyone based on their attire.
Hence
,
an
uniformity
is observed
with the similar culture.

On the other hand
, if the same
culture
gains popularity, the indigenous individual traditions will
be lost
. The young
people
of
today
wishes to have wedding parties in churches like the western countries which mean that they are
gradually
discontinuing their
own
rich customs with great meanings and
consequently
, these customs disappear from the face of the earth over time.
For instance
, Hindu weddings are
usually
composed of series of steps that
makes
a pact with the natural forces of the world for the
well being
of the couple. This is
now
largely
abandoned
because
it is not the style followed in the rest of the nations.
Thus
, the customs will be
destroyed
when the
current
trend continues.

In Conclusion
,
despite of
the fact that inequality will not
exists
with single
culture
, I am of opinion that the local customs will
die
out which have significant meaning for its practice.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay Nowadays culture is much the same all around the world when compared to previous times. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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