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Education abroad is the key factor for becoming successful.

Education abroad is the key factor for becoming successful. 6xVyj
Many students who study at abroad have more advantages than other students to become fortunate person. To a certain extent, I disagree that some students cannot endure difficulties of life. However, I also strongly believe that numerous students easily overcome all obstacles without someone and improve themselves. On the one hand, I think that this is a very challenging task for them. Firstly, they are not be able to lively communicate their family and they should think about their eating, house and lessons. For example, many students cannot deeply concentrate lessons, because of many thoughts. Then, he will fall into depression and his family gives insufficient support to him, because of distance between them. In my opinion, all students should be adapted living abroad by their parents before going to other country. On the other hand, this life is a not big problem for them. Firstly, they leave their family and do all things alone. As the result, life teach them how you should live in the world and these individuals obtain indispensable chance for their future life. For example, she quickly do all homework and do other healthy sports. Secondly, some countries have the most educated universities and these universities always play important role their future life. For example, someone is going to be doctor, he should decide very cleverly. United States of America is the biggest medical center in the world, due to this fact, if he wants to become extremely successful person, he will choose American universities, especially Massachusetts universities. In the conclusion, if we consider this statement, we will understand that although education abroad is the most essential choice for all people. Also, this factor has some the disadvantages and issues for some students.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who study at abroad have more advantages than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to become fortunate person. To a certain extent, I disagree that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
cannot endure difficulties of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
However
, I
also
strongly
believe that numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
easily
overcome all obstacles without someone and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
themselves.

On the one hand, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
challenging task for them.
Firstly
, they are not
Consider using a past participle here: "been".
be
able to lively communicate their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
family and
they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about their eating,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and lessons.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
cannot
deeply
concentrate lessons,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
thoughts. Then, he will fall into depression and his family gives insufficient support to him,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of distance between them. In my opinion, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
be adapted
living abroad by their parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
country.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is a not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problem for them.
Firstly
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their family and do all things alone. As the result,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
teach them how you should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the world and these individuals obtain indispensable chance for their future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For example
, she
quickly
The pronoun 'she' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "does", "did".
do
all homework and do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
healthy sports.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries have the most educated universities and these universities always play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role their future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For example
, someone is going to be doctor, he should decide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
cleverly
. United States of America is the biggest medical center in the world, due to this fact, if he wants to become
extremely
successful person, he will choose American universities,
especially
Massachusetts universities.

In the conclusion, if we consider this statement, we will understand that although education abroad is the most essential choice for all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Also
, this factor has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
the disadvantages and issues for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
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IELTS essay Education abroad is the key factor for becoming successful.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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